Al Davis, C'mon Down!

Because really, where else does Terrell Owens have to go?

He's personally destroyed two teams and was a key problem in the collapse of a third. That leaves the silver and black as the only potential suitor because of the owner who seems to be stuck in an episode of Quantum Leap when he's transported into the body 1975 mafia thug. A Jewish mafia thug that resembles Al Pacino in Donnie Brasco. Nevermind.

Actually, Davis could very well be suffering from dementia at this point and thinks he really is in the 70's again. If he calls T.O. 'Cliff Branch,' just say a quick prayer for the Bay Area.

I really can't think of another team that would be willing to take the T.O. taste challenge. Not with Marvin Harrison sitting out there. He may have trouble at car washes, but he doesn't collapse teams.

Plus, T.O. is 35 years old. He's still talented and nine times out of ten that means a team will take the risk, but this is the one exception. The history of T.O. is too great to parry away. You can't sell him to fans as a talent that was just misunderstood at his past three stops. The only chance for a team to grab T.O. is if the team thinks they are one wideout away from the Super Bowl. The Vikings are that type of team, but you can bet that they aren't dealing with any character flaws as long as there are party boats on the lakes. Nope, there doesn't appear to be a reason for any team to bring that cancer into their locker room.

Unless you have JaMarcus Russell throwing the ball to him. Then again, Davis already failed with one cantankerous wide receiver signing. If the Raiders show no interest in Owens, he might not have anywhere else to go. In that case, the only course of action I can recommend to T.O. is to find Dennis Rodman's phone number. I bet Drew Rosenhaus has it.