Saturday, March 14, 2009

Where's Me Gold?

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

It's not until Tuesday, but apparently everyone is getting their trashed on tonight, so we'll just roll with the flow.

So in honor of the fake St. Patrick's Day, I'm posting about the modern American lep
rechaun: the gold digger.

Urban dictionary defines the gold digger as "any woman whose primary interest in a relationship is material benefits. A woman who cares more about a man's bank account than she does about the man."

This is obviously a problem for a part time radio producer/wannabe radio host like myself, so you can imagine my interest when Dr. Phil recently had a show where he discussed the esoteric world of the gold diggers and their prey.

Apparently Colt's defensive end Dwight Freeney is also worried about gold diggers as well, most likely because he signed a contract worth $76 million. He's so concerned that he actually helped bring ratings to the Dr. Phil show.

During the show, Freeney posed as a limo driver who was picking up two women headed to the Dr. Phil show to discuss their gold digging ways. During the ride over, Freeney asked if the girls wanted to hang out later and, of course, was denied. Then Dr. Phil went all....well, Dr. Phil on the women during the show.

Honestly, did this little undercover stunt really prove anything besides letting Freeney play Mission Impossible? I would think that any woman might be a bit worried about a random limo driver asking them out. If it's normal for hot women to jump at limo drivers, I'm changing careers right now, but I'm guessing it's not an everyday occurrence.

So while I appreciate Freeney and Dr. Phil bringing to light the evil plans of gold digging women, I'm not sure if they really accomplished anything except proving that gold diggers do indeed exist. I didn't actually see the show, so let me know if I'm missing anything so I can then make fun of you for watching Dr. Phil.

In conclusion, Happy St. Patrick's Day and watch out if a limo driver asks your girlfriend out because he might have $76 million and you might have to listen to Dr. Phil talk to bitchy gold diggers.

Time for a whiskey and a Guinness

1 comment:

  1. Boy am I glad I don't have to worry about those gold diggers. Thank you, poverty! Remind me of this if I ever leave grad school and accidentally encounter any money.