Wednesday, September 30, 2009

News To Nobody But You

Remember that image of all the Big Tobacco CEO's sitting in a courtroom and showing their gaucherie by testifying that "to their knowledge" there was nothing addictive about cigarettes? Everyone watching knew cigarettes were addictive and eventually we all knew that the companies even marketed the things to kids.The NFL has somehow gotten away (doesn't it always get away?) with doing something similar though much less insidious and widespread.

The year is 2009 and the great machine known as the NFL is just now coming around to acknowledging a study that proves playing NFL football increases the risk of dementia later in life.

Wow. Who would think that gigantic men running head first into each other for years might cause a brain problem? Oh right, everyone in North America who doesn't earn money as an NFL executive.

The NFL was naturally denying to stave off a possible avalanche of lawsuits being filed by ex-players who can claim their life was shortened and ruined by playing professional football.

Those great Steelers teams of the 1970's? 17 of those guys have died since the year 2000, all at a relatively young age (younger than 60.) Some guys had heart attacks due to possible steroid use, a few had accidents, but many of them were suffering from depression and even dementia. Steelers center Mike Webster, who started on all four Steelers Super Bowl teams had an entire profile written about his mental struggles after his NFL career ended.

It's been an absolute joke that the NFL has pretended that the later life struggles that so many ex-players have didn't have anything to do with the NFL. Now one could prove the link beyond the shadow of a doubt, so the NFL could move on without any major turbulence aside from a few court battles.

Meanwhile everyone else accepted the truth. Finally, it looks like the NFL will too.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Lord Leach?

Football coaches are generally a miserable lot after a loss. They are cranky, cantankerous,'s like having an angry teenager and a petulant toddler in one body.

Texas Tech coach Mike Leach has added the word "oppressive" to that mix of adjectives.

Leach decided to ban his players from using Facebook or Twitter after their loss to Houston this weekend. Apparently the way for him to ameliorate his team is to ground the players from any sort of social media.

According to the Lubbock-Avalanche Journal, one player tweeted his disgust that the coaches were late for a meeting while another posted on his Facebook account that Tech's two loss start was not the way he thought the season would go.

Next thing you know, the pages are taken down and Leach is announcing the social media ban.

Really? This is how to handle your team? Rules are fine, punishments for breaking those rules are fine, but to actually have someone monitor Facebook accounts to make sure there's no activity on them? C'mon Coach Leach. You're putting a Darth Vader like grip on your team.

We don't live in China. These are young men who bring millions of dollars into your school and you are supposedly preparing to go out into the world. Treating them like 16 year olds isn't going to bring your team together.

If I'm wrong, I'll happily admit it just as soon has I hear a Tech player credit his team's victory to a lack of updates on Facebook. OMG LOL!

Monday, September 28, 2009

A Case For The Heisman

A lot can happen during the sinuous road of a college football season. It's pointless to even think about handing out season awards until after Halloween. But terms of the Heisman Trophy, here's a candidate who won't show up on any preseason All-America lists. His team won't show up anywhere in the title hunt either.

Yet quarterback Case Keenum has led the Houston Cougars to an undefeated record so far with three wins including two upsets. Keenum is the engine that makes the Cougars high powered offense go with both his arms and legs. He his averaging 386 yards passing (many times scrambling to open up plays), and has eight touchdowns to only two interceptions. He has also rushed for a touchdown in each game.

This was supposed to be the year of the big named quarterback, but Oklahoma's Sam Bradford injured his shoulder in an opening loss to BYU, Colt McCoy of Texas has yet to relax and just let loose with the football, and the college footbal diety named Tim Tebow just concussed his head and had to be hospitalized (he's OKAY people, I repeat, Tebow the great is OKAY. Please continue on with your lives.)

Other dark horse Heisman candidates like Jahvid Best of Cal and Dez Bryant of Oklahoma State have had at least one bad game this season which resulted in a loss for their team. The door is wide open for a shot at the Heisman.

Keenum should be at the top of that list. His Houston Cougars are undefeated and have taken out both Oklahoma State and Texas Tech. In front of a record crowd in Houston this weekend, Keenum had defining drive to beat Tech in the final minute of the game. The Cougars have now gone from a non-entity to a possible BCS bowl buster. They play in the less than respected Conference USA, but have already shown they can beat the big boys, so there would be no reason to keep an undefeated Houston team out of a big bowl game.

As for Keenum, he just needs to keep playing at this level and leading his team to wins. The season is full twists and turns and the Cougars can't afford to lose one game if Keenum wants to even be considered for the trophy over his more celebrated peers.

Keep your eyes on the Cougars. Every game that team wins should give them a bigger Case for the Heisman.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

The Lumps Keep Coming For The Big 10

As if the Big Ten needed more problems.

The most maligned of the major college football conferences now has to deal with another injury.

Charissa Thompson, sideline reporter for the Big 10 network apparently broke her ankle doing step aerobics. She's a trooper though. She'll still do games in a walking cast, so Big Ten games WILL CONTINUE TO BE BROADCAST. Thompson isn't about to let Erin Andrews be the only sideline hottie.

Keep heart Charissa, you'll make it through this thing yet. Ride this gig out until you turn 40 and get dumped for a younger woman.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Don't Make Him His Brother's Keeper

Imagine Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald cavorting into the locker room last Sunday. His team had just whipped the Jacksonville Jaguars on the road to silence any remaining critics who say that Arizona turns into a fistfull of suck when they play on the east coast. Everything is cool and Cardinals are back in the win column.

Then Fitzgerald has to answer ridiculous questions about a message from his brother on Twitter. Eventually that peaceful, easy feeling dissipates. His week is now annoying.

Because of a tweet.

Apparently Larry's brother Marcus wrote on Twitter that Larry wasn't happy about not getting the ball enough and that Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner was an "old ass man."

Whooooaaaa! Get ready because the Cardinals are going to implode from controversy!

Do you know of a receiver in the NFL who doesn't want the ball more? Good receivers could get the ball 200 times and it still wouldn't be enough. And Kurt Warner is an old ass man. It's not like we're breaking new ground here.

The issue here is why the biggest subject Fitzgerald had to deal with this week is answering questions about his brother's tweet. This is a one day issue ("hey Larry, are you pissed about not getting the ball enough? That's what your brother tweeted.")

Instead, this issue has become a festering idiotic situation for Fitzgerald to deal with. The upcoming game against the Colts? No one cares! Tell us why your brother was tweeting!

And that is where we are today in media, folks. Anyone has a platform and when a sibling to a famous person speaks, it makes national headlines and somehow the famous person is supposed to answer for it as if they have full control over that sibling. For the record, Fitzgerald has handled the situation quite well, but the fact that he's had to answer a barrage of questions about what his brother said is just silly. Ask Marcus Fitzgerald about his less than controversial tweet, he wrote it. Let Larry worry about the Colts and his old ass quarterback.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

The Spread Gets Shunned

Anyone who has watched college football for the past five years knows the en vogue offense is the spread attack. Whether it's a run based spread used by Rich Rodriguez at Michigan, or the pass happy spread used by Mike Leach at Texas Tech, the spread has...well, every part of the college football landscape.

But if you're a quarterback with pro ambitions, at least one NFL legend says you should use your assiduous studying time on a different playbook.

Joe Montana recently said at a speaking engagement that quarterbacks who run spread offenses in college will have difficulty in the NFL. "You can see the evidence with the guy in San Francisco (that would be Alex Smith, apparently Montana doesn't keep up with the 49ers anymore) and with a guy as talented as Vince Young." Montana continued that Texas Tech quarterback legend Graham Harrell "threw for nine million yards, but no one would take a chance on him. Why's he in Canada?"

Montana is right. Most top college spread quarterbacks have trouble adjusting to the NFL game. This means either the NFL will need to adopt more spread formations to ease the transitions for top college quarterbacks, or these blue chip high school quarterbacks will need to pick colleges like USC and Notre Dame that run pro-style offenses. Even Montana made sure his youngest son picked wisely. Nick Montana is going to University of Washington next year to run the pro-style offense there.

The spread offense isn't going away in the college game. The crazy style allows quarterbacks who may not fit the pro mold (too short, too small, noodle arm, etc) to succeed for a program. But the quarterbacks who run the spread don't have immediate success at the next level even if they do have NFL size and strength. This does not bode well for the top college quarterbacks in college this year. Colt McCoy, Sam Bradford, and Tim Tebow all run a version of the spread.

There is speculation that the Detroit Lions would have picked Bradford over Matthew Stafford if both quarterbacks were in the draft last year. Maybe the Lions got lucky that they didn't have to choose (especially since they tend to choose unwisely every time.) Stafford played in a pro-style offense at Georgia.

If you're a fan of a terrible NFL team in desperate need of a quarterback (St. Louis Rams anyone?) You might start paying close attention to Jevan Snead of Ole Miss. He plays in a pro-style offense. Therefore he might be your rookie quarterback next year.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Apprently Jerry Jones Doesn't Watch Yankees Games

Jerry Jones has always been a gambler. Loves the rush. Ego needs it.

That's why he built a monstrous new stadium for the Dallas Cowboys and wants to charge $250 for nosebleed seats despite the stadium being way out in Arlington and the country still being in....what's it called? Oh yeah, a RECESSION.

Jones believes the Cowboys are so popular, people will scrape together what they have (or don't have) for the privilege of going to see the Cowboys in their new home despite the fact that the team hasn't won a playoff game in over a decade and could very well set a record for most losses in a decade this season.

Apparently, Jerry Jones doesn't watch New York Yankees games.

Remember all the news earlier this season about how the Yanks were having a hard time selling the overpriced seating to the new stadium? I do. I remember chuckling as I gazed at all of the empty seats behind home plate.

Now the Cowboys are in danger of having the first home game in the new stadium blacked out because they can't sell enough tickets. This despite a chance that Dallas might set an NFL attendance record for the first game. That's because most of the fans bought standing room only tickets that don't cost them a mortgage.

The Cowboys won't get blacked out. Bank on that. The team will find some efficacious way to get rid of those last hundred tickets even though no one is going to drop $500 for two tickets at this point. The game will be televised and everyone can marvel at the giant scoreboard that gets hit by punted footballs.

And then what?

As I said, the Cowboys haven't exactly been run like a well oiled machine recently. Jerry can talk and hype as well as any owner in the league, but eventually fans will need to see results to keep drinking the Cowboys Kool-Aid. Once the shine from the first game in the new home wears off, many fans aren't going to want to drive an hour so that they can pay a monthly check just to see one game from a mediocre team. It's just not worth it.

Jerry has once again pushed things to the edge. It's going to take all of his marketing genius to make sure things don't fall over the edge or people in Dallas may not be seeing Cowboys games for a long time.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

No More Gettin Jaggy With It?

I'll admit, it's a stupid, mind-numbing title. I'm sorry.

I'm just trying to add some humor (even if it's awful) to the dire situation in Jacksonville. The Jags aren't selling tickets which means there will not be a Jacksonville Jaguars franchise much longer unless things change.

On the surface, Jags owners Wayne and Delores Barr Weaver say they know that Florida was hit hard by the recession and that has hurt season ticket holders, but they are committed to keeping the franchise in Florida.

In reality, Jacksonville mayor John Peyton actually attended Jags practice this week and encouraged fans to buy season tickets. The mayor does not get involved with selling tickets unless things are not going well. Ladies and gentlemen, things are not going well.

The Jags are going to get their home games blacked out on local television. The team has been consistently lagging behind in attendance lately and there is still some sort of national stigma that hangs over the city dating all the way back to the less than stellar impression the city made when it hosted the 2005 Super Bowl between the Patriots and Eagles.

The owners can talk all they want to about a Jags commitment to Florida, but if the financial picture remains cloudy, all the talk will eventually just sound like logorrhea. Art Modell said lots of stuff when he was owner of the Cleveland Browns. Then he upped and moved to Baltimore. Los Angeles is still sitting there without a football team. The more struggles that happen in Jacksonville, the more enticing LA LA land looks.

Jaguars could become an endagered species in Florida.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

NFL Knee Jerk- Week 1

The NFL changes from week to week, but that doesn't stop us fans from making blanket statements after watching one game. Here are mine:

It's a little early to vote Drew Brees supreme leader: Yeah, Brees is going to be good, he was good last year. But it's Detroit people. That team couldn't stop an offense that was made up solely of chairs and some table lamps.

Jake Delhomme made a bet to play for the next year with his eyes closed: Usually when someone says a player has picked up where he left off in last year's playoffs, it's a compliment. Except when the player in question throws bushels of interceptions in both games.

The Eagles regret that Kevin Kolb pick: A top pick a few years ago for the Eagles, Kolb was supposed to be the quarterback to replace Donovan McNabb. Now the Eagles seem to be scouring the league looking for any castoff. First they signed dog killer Vick and now that McNabb is hurt for a few games, the team decided that 89 year old Jeff Garcia is worth grabbing just for a few games rather than start Kolb. If I were Kevin Kolb, I'd keep renting in Philly because he's not there for much longer.

Cincinnati owner Mike Brown pissed some football god off at some point: Maybe it's Brown's miserly ways or maybe he's the guy that blew up the Hindenburg in another life, but his team can't ever catch a break. Carson Palmer drives the team down for a last minute win only to watch a crazy tipped ball drill ruin the day.

The Rams deserve more ridicule than they get: The Raiders and Lions are always at the front of conversations about inept franchises. The Rams have been just as bad recently. I know, they were in two Super Bowls over the past 10 years. They suck now. Absolutely suck. Might be the worst team in the league this year.

Denver fans will be happy, then sad: Broncos fans will laugh and cheer during the early games this year as Jay Cutler acts like a baby and throws the most interceptions this side of Jake Delhomme. Then the Broncos will come on in the late game and they will be sad because they realize how much their own team sucks.

Buffalo just got it's season wrecked: The Bills have been talking all off-season about turning things around. They come out and gave the Patriots fits. Then the Pats turned around with some sort of Mortal Kombat move and ripped the Bills still beating hearts out of their chests. And the collective sigh of "here we go again" rose from Western New York.

JaMarcus Russell couldn't hit a naval battleship with some of his throws: The Raiders ran all over the Chargers and had receivers running free on nearly every play. Russell hit those receivers about half of the time. He also hit some Chargers defenders a few times as well. Who care if you can throw a deep ball if you only hit your target once every blue moon? Fail.

My television will be muted if ESPN ever gives me the Raiders/Chargers announcers again: ESPN has long made a habit out of shoving shows that have big "personalities" with forced chemistry down our throats. Monday night in Oakland was no different. It was like Mike Greenberg was getting paid by the word.

I know Mike and Mike are used to radio where you have to speak a lot more, but couldn't someone have just told them to lay off? Maybe then they could have recognized who was playing running back for the Raiders (and Darren McFadden with the carry...I mean Michael Bush...wait is that McFadden? I have no idea.) Between those two knuckleheads and Steve Young's condescending talk about how he needs to explain single safety coverage to the viewers because he was an NFL quarterback, I was ready just to turn off the television and go into some lucubration before bed. Will someone please stop ESPN before it ruins sports forever?

Monday, September 14, 2009

Up in Flames

I should probably save this for tomorrow's knee jerk NFL segment, but this one is a story all to itself.

A few months ago, Chicago Bears fans were indulging in crapulous behavior as they reveled in a trade that brought their franchise, long barren of anything resembling a quarterback, the great Jay Cutler.

The team was transformed overnight from a team with a gameplan that included running, defense, and prayer that the caretaker QB didn't screw the game up, to a team with possibly the best QB in the division, plus a running game and defense.


After all, the Bears made the Super Bowl just a few years ago with Rex Grossman leading the team. REX GROSSMAN! Of course, sexy Rexy melted down in the Super Bowl and that was that. With Cutler, the Bears were right in the thick of the NFC North race and now had a great young quarterback to lead them to the promised land.

It's only been one week and suddenly the Bears ship looks to be taking on water. Cutler laid an egg in Green Bay last night in the form of four interceptions as the Bears fell to the rival Packers.

More importantly, the Bears lost middle linebacker Brian Urlacher for the season with a dislocated wrist. The Bears are now staring at a week 2 match-up with Pittsburgh and a week 3 matchup at Seattle without any synch between the new quarterback and recievers plus a devestating injury to the leader of the defense.

Could Chicago start 0-3? Not the start Bears fans were thinking of...

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Added Excitement Or Bad Sportsmanship?

There are two schools of thinking on showmanship/taunting in the NFL. One is that there is no room for any sort of it, the other is that it is part of an entertainment industry that makes the games more fun for the fans.

During the Pittsburgh/Tennessee game, Titans receiver Justin Gage caught a TD pass and then had a little interaction with a Pittsburgh fan afterward:

You tell me: is it a low class taunting episode, or is it part of the game experience and is only denounced by stiff types who are inured to the no fun nature of the NFL?

Friday, September 11, 2009

Wow, That's A New One

The track and field world has been buzzing after puissant and manly South African female runner Caster Semenya dominated the women's 800 meter race. Other countries cried foul, (in Austin Powers voice) "That woman is a maaan, baby!"

She does look like Shannon Sharpe with lipstick (not a real big compliment for a woman) and the word "semen" is right there in her last name. It's just there taunting us.

Then the poop really hit the fan when International Association of Athletics Federations ordered Semenya to get a gender test done. The South African government claimed unfair profiling. Just because Semenya isn't a dainty woman who adheres to the Western standard of beauty shouldn't force her to be ridiculed.

Well, she took the test and now word out of Sydney, Austrailia is that....she's a herm? That woman IS a man, baby! And a woman. She's the hermaphrodite flash.

That claim hasn't been confirmed yet and we all know Austrailia is a former prison colony, so maybe the Sydney media is lying. If they aren't , a giant Pandora's Box has been opened.

Semenya has male sex organs in her body which give her elevated levels of testostorone, undoubtably a competitive advantage over her female competitiers. Yet, it's not like Semenaya took a penis pill to help her run. She has an abnormal condition, but a completely natural one.

So does Semenya get penalized for being born different, or does she get to run with an obvious advantage? Or do the Olympics create a trans-gender event which would be treated like a freak show?

And if they do allow a trans-gender runner, will we see a part man/ part horse runner soon? That would be cool.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

NFL New Years Has Come

Today marks the great moment in a year when we can all sit in our office (or at home in your underwear if you really want to do it right) and proclaim TGIF! Thank God It's Football season!

It's time to fill your home with the noisome combination of fried foods, beer, and sweaty testosterone-filled people screaming at the television. If anyone gets on your case about your obsession with the game of football, just let them know it could be worse.

You could be one of those people who are so obsessed with fantasy football, they pay lawyers to settle roster disputes in a fantasy league. You aren't so hopelessly addicted to gambling that you actually take out insurance on your fantasy players so that you don't lose the $10,000 you just plunked down for your fantasy league.

Sure, you punch pillows, you knock over bowls of chips, you are impossible to talk to the day after your team loses, but you aren't that bad, right?

Just embrace your obsession. It only lasts 17 weeks.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Lingerie Football Executives Stunned And Horrified

Did you know there was a lingerie football league? I've heard about it multiple times, but I just assumed it was like Bigfoot or the WNBA: something we all know about, but that doesn't actually exist.

Lingerie football does indeed exist, but it's still rough around the edges. For instance, league officials were stunned today when they saw that women playing football in lingerie might accidentally show some brief nudity. It was caught on film:

You can practically hear the horrified screams of the puritan crowd. The only thing missing from that play is a pile of malapropisms from an ex-player. Is Emmitt Smith available?

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Titanic Sooners May Have Hit An Iceberg

Wow, that was fast. Just a week ago, the Oklahoma Sooners were the third ranked team in the nation and a championship contender. The team had a returning Heisman trophy winner and a nasty defense.

A week later, the sparkle of a season that seemed so refulgent has disappeared quicker than Mel Gibson's career. One game. That's all it took. Don't laugh, it could happen to your team next.

Oklahoma was supposed to handle BYU. It might have been close for a half or three quarters, but the Sooners were to pull it out pretty easily. And the game was played in the new Dallas Cowboys stadium, so all the talented high school football recruits in the Lone Star State could see how great Oklahmoa was. Great tactic by Sooners coach Bob Stoops in his constant battle to recruit Texas talent.

Things didn't go as planned though. First of all, superb tight end Jermaine Gresham turned out to be injured and couldn't play. Then halfway through the second quarter, Heisman winning quarterback Sam Bradford was tackled hard and laid on the turf holding his shoulder in agony. You could hear the collective breath leave the Sooners fans. Bradford was done for the night and while the OU defense played well, the Sooners couldn't avoid being upset by the team from Mormon Country.

That is how quickly a promising season ended for the Sooners.

Today we find out that Gresham may have to get knee surgery which will effectively end his final season in Norman. Bradford should be able to come back, but his throwing shoulder will be in constant pain. Maybe he'll be fine, maybe he won't. Either way, with an upcoming trip to Miami and the big showdown with Texas in the middle of October, the Sooners have a season that has suddenly gone from promising to frightening. Only time will tell if the BYU fiasco was just a bump in the road or an iceberg for the Titanic Sooners.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Deion Gets Delusional

Deion Sanders, the great NFL defensive back and noted voluptuary has long been supporting rookie receiver Michael Crabtree in his ridiculous holdout from the San Francisco 49ers. Now Deion seems to be going on the offensive for the idiot pass catcher.

According to, Deion is saying that two seperate NFL team are now interested in trading for Crabtree and are willing to pay the astronomical amount of money he thinks he deserves even though the receiver hasn't played one down in the NFL. Sanders says "Why would you settle for $20 million when you feel like you can get $40 million? The 49ers need him desperately"

Forget the obvious ethical issues the Deion crosses as he talks about his buddy while working for NFL Network, of which there are several. No one ever really considered Deion an acutal journalist anyways.

But Deion should know from his stay in the NFL that a rookie will not win by holding a team hostage for money. Even if he gets traded and makes the money he wants, Crabtree has lost his rookie season because he's so far behind learning the offense. Plus, veteran players won't be remotely supportive of a rookie waltzing in thinking he's worth so much before he's played a down.

All I can think of is that Crabree doesn't want to play for the 49ers and is trying to force a trade to a team he deems more of a title contender. Deion, being his buddy, is using his job at NFL Network to actually help out Crabtree. It stinks in all sorts of ways and at this point, Crabtree has nearly zero fans in the NFL.

My prediction for Crabtree: PAIN.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

An Ending To The Romance In Sports

Remember when sports was more about gamesmanship and honor more than it was about money? Neither do I.

But one would hope that the fans of a team would be treated as friendlies and not some random gadabout who owes you some cash.

The Washington Post is reporting the plight of several Redskins season ticket holders who got smashed by the economic downturn and now can no longer afford the season tickets they signed up to get. It's understandable. This is the worst downturn since the depression, people are going to have trouble and going to football games probably isn't the wisest use of their money.

But Redskins owner Dan Snyder wants his money, so what does he do? He sues these hard luck ticket holders into bankruptcy.

These fans did sign a contract when they bought the ticket packages and by the letter of the law, they are required to pay their money to the Redskins. It's hard to argue against that even though some of the people didn't even read the contracts thoroughly.

But maybe, just maybe there is an unsaid give and take between a team and it's community of supporters. Fans help fund stadiums with their tax dollars because they want the team to stay around. God forbid the owners of these teams should exercise some shred of loyalty back to those supporters.

The Redskins have plenty of season ticket holders and even more fans are in line to buy packages. But when you see a team treating it's fans like this, it destroys any romance a person may have being a "celebrated" fan of the team and drops the harsh reality that some sports owners see you as a piggy bank more than a community supporter of their organization.

They'll Be No Stopping This Nonsense Now

I'm originally from Dallas which makes me one of those rare traditional Cowboys fans. When someone asks me who I root for I just tell them I'm from Dallas and watch them bristle because they can't call me a front-runner or ask me if I like the Yankees and Lakers too.

But I'm not a blind faith fan. I don't root for laundry. Just because the Cowboys signed Pac-Man Jones doesn't mean I suddenly buy a gun and start hanging around strip clubs making it rain. I expect to enjoy rooting for my team.

With that in mind, I can safely say that the Jerry Jones Cowboys are just not the same Cowboys from my childhood. There is no longer that air of professionalism about them. Dallas used to be what New England is today. You hated them because you knew they'd somehow be in the mix every season and were always dangerous. These days, the Cowboys are just a toy for owner Jerry Jones.

Don't get me wrong, Jerry likes winning. He's not one of those lowest of low owners who only want to make profit and never intends to actually build a champion team for the city. Jerry is a visionary guy who is also a marketing genius. He is, however, completely a slave to his enormous ego and he generally refuses to ever hire someone that knows football to run his franchise. It's awful.

But I can't expect anything to change because Forbes just named the Cowboys the most valuable sports franchise in America for the third straight year. This means any constructive criticism a fan might have for the team will just carom right off management like raindrops off the gigantic new stadium they just built OUT IN B.F.E.

What have the Cowboys done to deserve this honor? There is no reason this team should be at the very top of the assets page. It hasn't won a playoff game since 1996. If you look at NFL records for the past decade you'll find the Patriots and Colts at the top of the win column followed by the Steelers and Eagles. Where are the Cowboys? Keep going....keep going...number ten? Nope. How about fifteen? Nope, keep going down..... the Cowboys are the 20th ranked teams in victories this decade. That puts them ahead of such beasts as the Cleveland Browns, Detroit Lions, and Oakland Raiders this decade. And at least the Raiders made it to a Super Bowl a few years ago.

Yet there the Cowboys sit at the most valuable fanchise in American sports. Why change anything? Keep hiring puppet head coaches that talk like they're on their way to the ole fishin' hole in Green Acres. Keep watching the Cowboys blow drafts as the current veterans get older. Keep cheering for Jason Witten, Tony Romo, and DeMarcus Ware and realize every single one of these guys were brought in when Bill Parcells was scowling around the halls. Cheer that offensive line, none of who is under 30 years old.

Keep on cheering as the Cowboys slowly melt back into the 5-11 hell that they started the decade in. You'll keep that franchise at the top of the value chart and nothing will ever change. Hope you enjoyed those Super Bowls because they aren't coming back at the current rate.