PantsCast April 12 2011

Has the term douchebag been watered down? Sideline reporters, texting your junk, baseball talk, NBA vs NHL playoff formats, and an unfortunate clean up in the grocery store in What's Wrong With Humans.

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PantsCast March 21 2011

The bleeding out of our March Madness brackets, why Joe refuses to root for Pitt ever again, another bit for Chad Ocho Cinco, the Mets get bit by the past again, and a holy trifecta of ingredients for this week's What's Wrong With Humans.

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PantsCast March 9 2011

The NFL lockout, Fig Newton's brother, Cam, crying Heat, our memories of some of the worst ref calls, and chivalry gets you suspended on "What's Wrong With Humans."

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PantsCast February 16 2011

It's a slow sports week, so Joe and I discuss everything from epic fail seasons to dog shows. Plus, it was only a matter of time before text arguments turned fatal on What's Wrong With Humans.

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PantsCast February 9 2011

The final football podcast of the season. We look over the Super Bowl memories and I provide some post game audio I collected from the game. We review the commercials, fan reactions, plus another episode of snort happy kids in this week's "What's Wrong With Humans."

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PantsCast February 3

The week before the Super Bowl and SportsPants brings you audio from the Super Bowl media day he attended. Plus, things that make an interesting Super Bowl party and an idiot who just couldn't be without his cell phone on What's Wrong With Humans.

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PantsCast January 6, 2011

Week 17 awards and the unique PantsCast guide on who to root for in the NFL playoffs. It's like pairing a fine wine with dinner, if dinner were playoff football.

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Fantasy Football PantsCast Sept 22

Week 2 awards, Week 3 preview and some doozy games that went down with the wire. The insanity of certain NFL coaches and I coin a new word. Just like Shakespeare does.

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Who To Follow

So I'm sitting here in Dallas waiting for the sky to fall after the Cowboys lost again. So far it still seems to be up there, but I have a mattress over my bathtub just in case. Okay, the mattress is always there because I sleep in the bathtub. It's just my thing.

There was a moment during the Cowboys humiliating loss to the Bears on Sunday when an agitated Jason Witten was on the sideline desperately trying to argue his way back into the game. He had a possible concussion and the Dallas medical staff smartly didn't allow Witten to man up and go do further damage to his brain.

As I watched him though, I found myself wishing I could clone him to put on other parts of the team. I don't mean that because Witten is possibly the most complete tight end in the game, I mean that because Witten possibly has the most character of anyone wearing a star on their helmet. I think that scarcity of leadership is the biggest issue facing this 0-2 team. Talk about the offensive line, Tony Romo, or Roy Williams all you want, to me it keeps coming back to the same issue.

This team generally needs a General.

Look at the past Super Bowl winners. The Colts and Saints have unquestioned quarterback leadership from Peyton Manning and Drew Brees. The Giants rallied behind Michael Strahan to win the Super Bowl. The Steelers had the defensive wizardry of Dick LeBeau and the no excuses preaching of Mike Tomlin.

The Cowboys have...what? Tony Romo isn't that type of leader, he's just one of the guys. That's his personality and it's not a knock on him, Eli Manning isn't a big leader either and he has a Super Bowl ring. DeMarcus Ware isn't a leader in the locker room, he's a beast you let loose on the field to destroy an offense. Miles Austin isn't the leader, he's all smiles because he remembers when he didn't even have a spot in the staring lineup. Keith Brooking is a good leader, but he's at the end of his career. He's not a dominant star.

Jay Ratliff? Nope. Over achiever in the middle of the defense

Terrance Newman? Nope.

Mike Jenkins? Brash young player. Not a leader

Roy Williams? Okay, now I'm getting ridiculous.

The point is that the Cowboys have no on field studs who not only play well, but inspire others to play well for them. Imagine Ray Lewis screaming at his defense. Imagine Tom Brady directing his receivers to the right place. Look how excited Jared Allen got the other Vikings during their playoff run last year. The Cowboys have no one like that. Either the Cowboys have to get lucky in the draft one year and just grab a super stud player without the character issues or they have to change the one position where they can pick a guy to lead the team.

The Cowboys need to get a new head coach.

This isn't a Wade Phillips bashing segment. I like Wade, he's nice to people. He doesn't walk around with a permanent scowl on his face like Todd Haley in Kansas City or refuse to talk to the media like Eric Mangini in Cleveland. He is a genuinely good guy, but he's not the guy this team needs.

This team needs a leader as head coach. They need a guy who will not make excuses and not accept excuses either. No more blown assignments, no more dropped balls, no more celebrity personalities, and no more talk. You either get it done, or you don't. That's the nature of the NFL. If you need an example, look no further than the New York Jets. Rex Ryan changed the culture of that entire team virtually overnight.

The question is, will the one person who is capable of this move make the right call? Jerry Jones owns this team and he wants to be in charge. He hired Bill Parcells for a few years and though the Tuna turned this team around, Jerry was miserable the entire time. Jerry like the media, he likes people to talk about his team and he likes people to talk about him. If he brings in a forceful personality at head coach, there will be inevitable clashes. It won't always be fun for Jerry, but that's what this team needs if they are to make the next big step.

So there it is. The only way for this team to really take a step towards another Super Bowl title. Jerry's in charge, will he pick promotion or the playoffs?

NFL Season Predictions

The NFL season has begun and I just realized I haven't given you my season predictions yet. Since I know you've just been dying to hear from me, I'll go ahead and give them to you now although you would have heard them weeks ago if you'd just download the PantsCast.

One thing to remind you of: in today's NFL, playoff teams from a year ago only return to the playoffs at about a 50% rate. You'll see some new faces in the playoffs this year.

My Division Winners:

NFC

NFC West- San Francisco: By default really. Arizona has a quarterback who has the touch of a refrigerator shot out of a cannon. He looks like he attempts to put holes in his receiver when he throws it to them. The Seahawks have a bunch of players who are either too old or too young to be successful right now and the Rams are the Rams. They're terrible. So congrats 49ers, 8-8 should get you into the playoffs this year.

NFC South- Atlanta: Just a gut pick really. New Orleans is on a roll already, but I can't shake the feeling that everything just came together for the Saints last year. They'll be good this year, but just not dominant. I also pick the Falcons because no team has repeated as champions of the NFC South. Carolina is right up there with the other two, but I can't pick them until I know what Matt Moore has at quarterback. If he throws it to his teammates, he'll be a step ahead of Jake Delhomme. And bringing up the rear is Tampa Bay. They're way back there trying to get the anchor up to the pirate ship.
NFC North- Green Bay: This division once again comes down to Green Bay and Minnesota. I pick Green Bay this year because they look like they're ready to roll. It won't be easy though, the Vikings will still be powerful. I pick the Lions to overcome the Bears this year. Detroit has been a division joke for so long, but now they have hope and while they know they can't catch the top teams, my guess is that they'll target the Bears and go after them. Chicago has zero line and an aging defense. The entire coaching staff will be gone by the end of the season.

NFC East- New York Giants: This is always the most difficult division to pick. I'll say the Giants because they'll be motivated. They sucked at the end of last year and it was embarrassing considering they started 5-0. Dallas is the chic pick to win this division, but the schedule is harder and the offensive line is way too banged up to be excited about them. Philadelphia could be a sneaky division pick, but that means you'd have to ignore new quarterback Kevin Kolb completely bombing during the pre-season. More offensive line troubles too.

AFC

AFC West- San Diego Chargers: Again, who else can you pick? The Raiders dumped fatty JaMarcus, but I'm not picking them to win a division. I have no idea what the Broncos are doing, but it isn't going to help them this year, especially since their best pass rusher tore his pectoral muscle. Ouch. Kansas City is just too bad to win a division yet. Vomit.

AFC South- Tennessee Titans: Not the Colts?! I don't know why I'm picking Tennessee. To me both the Titans and the Texans are desperately trying to catch up to the Colts. I just think Tennessee might do it this year. The Texans could do it too, but they melt down so much late in gmaes, that I just can't trust them. Then there's Jacksonville. Forget about them. You'll never see them on television since they don't sell out their home games, you want hear about them in the playoff picture, and you probably won't see them in Jacksonville much longer. So...fun!

AFC North- Baltimore: Ignore the ridiculous problems in the defensive backfield (I think Chris Rock was brought in at one point to play cornerback) and just look at the rest of the team. The offensive line is solid, the back field is tough and Joe Flacco is knocking on the door of QB stardom. On defense, the front seven are beasts so if the secondary can just not be pathetic, the Ravens will be tough. The Bengals are the ex division champs and are basically a halfway house for NFL morons. I really want Cincy to win the division and I really want them to enter the stadium in a clown car and have all 22 starters fall out. It fits. Pittsburgh can't be counted out, but you have the Big Ben supsension for a month, you have offensive line troubles, and you have a rough late schedule. Not good. Cleveland...thanks for showing up this year. Maybe in 2011. Maybe.

AFC East- New England: While the Jets are Hard Knocking, the Pats are getting ready for the season. The Jets definitely have the talent to take this division, but I get the feeling the team has the arrogance of a Super Bowl champ and yet they haven't even been to the Super Bowl since the Beatles were still a band. That's not a good sign. Get the attitude after you show up, guys. Miami is some wierd mix of Parcells guys (big, unassuming guys) and freaks (Brandon Marshall and Ricky Williams). They should be tough, but something is missing...oh right, a secondary. The Bills are basically the NFL version of the Phantom Zone. They won't be easy to beat, but they aren't winning anything.

Playoff Wild Cards:

NFC

Minnesota: The Vikings won't beat the Packers out this year, but they know this probably Brett Favre's last go around for real, so they'll be desperate to win.

New Orleans: You can't totally write off a Super Bowl champ. Especially when they have Drew Brees.

AFC

Indianapolis: You can't totally write off a Super Bowl runner up. Especially when they have Peyton Manning.

Cincinnati : I just really want the Bengals to win. It's good entertainment value.

I'll say Ravens over the Packers in the Super Bowl though I hope I'm wrong. I don't want the Ravens to win.

NFL MVP: Aaron Rodgers. He's gonna light it up like Christmas tree.

Rookie of the Year: Ryan Matthews. He'll just get more chances than other rookies.

So there you go. A quick run through the NFL 2010. Luckily, I can edit this when my picks go flaming out of contention.

August 31- NFL Season Preview

We preview the NFL season and give our picks for playoff teams and Super Bowl contenders. Plus, a Hawaiian guy falls victim to the evil video game industry on What's Wrong With Humans.

I foresee you clicking here to download the PantsCast.

The Win/Fail Entitites in the 18 Game NFL Schedule

The NFL owners look to be going ahead with their idea for an 18 game schedule as the future of the NFL. Let's take a look at who wins and who loses with this decision:

WIN- Owners: Mo money, mo money, mo money! That's what this all comes down to. Fans aren't falling for the pre-season garbage anymore and stadiums are only half filled, so the owners now make the games count and watch the green come flooding in.

FAIL- Players: Think you were sore after a 16 game schedule? Get ready to have your career further shortened and go ahead and say goodbye to your knees and various other joints right now.

WIN- Agents: Mo money, mo money, mo money! Don't think the additional gate for two extra games won't be involved in future contract negotiations.

FAIL- Veterans under contract: What is Darrelle Revis doing? He's trying to get this multi-year contract right now, which is being discussed under a 16 game schedule. Soon he'll realize that he could have made more. Pity the veteran that has his multi-year contract already in place. He'll have to play the extra games, but won't get paid for them. Well, don't actually pity him...

WIN- Wild card teams: Two more games to right the ship and get momentum going as you go into the playoffs

FAIL- Fans of early division winners: Remember the Colts last year? They had the division sewn up by week 13 and the final games were this mish mash of reserves throwing out a complete gong show while everyone asked if the team was losing it's mojo with the sudden loss of intensity in games. Now add two extra meaningless games at the end of the Indy season. Yawn.

WIN- Coaches on the hot seat: Two extra games to try and prove you belong before the inevitable guillotine falls on your headset.

FAIL- NBA, NHL, Major League Baseball etc: The juggernaut NFL puts in two more regular season games = two more weeks where Americans completely ignore your sport. It's a machine.

WIN- 1972 Miami Dolphins: Those annoying men in aqua have long beaten us down with their yearly champagne parties once the final undefeated team loses in the NFL. Yes, they went undefeated. The 2007 Patriots actually won more games, but since Belichick's boys couldn't take out the Giants in the Super Bowl, it wasn't a perfect season. Now you add two extra games. It will be nearly impossible for a team to go undefeated ever again. Once again, we'll hear the likes of Don Shula and Mercury Morris babble on about how their team was the best ever because of the perfect record despite the fact that the Dolphins played a ridiculously easy schedule during a 14 game season. Joy.

FAIL- Fantasy football players: Get ready for more injuries and more giant red "Questionable" tags attached to the players on your team. My head hurts just thinking about it.

WIN- NFL Fans: More football = happy me.

Fantasy Football 2010 Preview--WR

I'm going on a zombie pub crawl tonight, how about that? So it's time to figure out which wide receivers will be dead ends (HAHAHAHA kill me) this season.

Wide receivers are more up and down than any other position. One week they'll give you 150 yards and two touchdowns and then the next week they get shut down for 30 yards. This is because so many things have to go right for an NFL passing game to work. If your offensive line sucks, your quarterback won't have time to throw the ball deep (ask Greg Jennings owners about that problem last year). If you quarterback sucks, he might miss when the receiver is wide open (ask Steve Smith owners about that last year.) I happened to own both Jennings and Smith so I'm an expert on the subject and I also nearly had a stroke every Sunday last year.

The key is getting the receivers who will be a big part of a good passing offense. These are the receivers that offensive coordinators figure out ways to get open. It doesn't matter if a defense aims to stop them, the offense will find a way to make it work. That's the key in receiver grabbing during the early rounds. After that you just grab guys that you hope will emerge as pass catching threats. Let's took a look.

Top Dog: Andre Johnson
There isn't one mock draft that doesn't have Andre Johnson as the number one receiver. The guy is a beast. If you're sitting in the back half of your first round, consider passing on a running back and getting Johnson, he's as close to a sure thing that a receiver can be. He's big, fast, and he has a pretty lethal offense around him. He might be doing nothing for you and then BAM! he has a 69 yard touchdown. It's the way that offense works and he will always be in the mix for the ball.

Grenade: Dwayne Bowe
He's very boom or bust, but Bowe is the man in Kansas City. The only issue is his work habits. More accurately, it's coach Todd Haley's concerns with Bowe's work habits. Haley likes to play mind games with his players and do things like put them at third string so embarrass and motivate them. As a result, people get scared off by Bowe. He's not being drafted until the middle of the sixth round in most leagues and he's by far the most talented receiver in K.C. The Chiefs will be behind a lot so that means plenty of targets for Bowe. Boom.

Torpedo: Donald Driver
Poor Donald Driver. He's been nothing but consistent over the past few years and this is how I repay him. Football is a vicious bitch of a sport and Driver is old, that's the problem. He's old and he has two freshly operated on knees. He's a gamer, but there's a good chance Driver gets hurt or is just a step too slow this year. That means a big drop in production. Considering he's being taken less than a round after Bowe, he should be avoided.

Deperation Pick: Lee Evans
You've spent your drafting loading up other positions and now you find yourself looking for a second or third receiver in the tenth round. Not a good position to be in. Get Evans. He'll drive you insane because he's the poster child for getting you 30 points one week and 3 the next, but he's the number one receiver in Buffalo and that means they'll at least try to get him the ball. Just don't watch his games because it will drive you crazy. Don't watch Buffalo Bills games...now that's good advice.

Rankings:
Andre Johnson
Randy Moss
Larry Fitzgerald
Calvin Johnson
Reggie Wayne
DeSean Jackson
Miles Austin
Roddy White
Greg Jennings
Brandon Marshall
Marques Colston
Steve Smith-CAR
Sidney Rice
Anquan Boldin
Steve Smith-NYG
Chad Ochocinco
Hakeem Nicks
Michael Crabtree
Dwayne Bowe
Mike Sims-Walker
Percy Harvin
Jeremy Maclin
Johnny Knox
Santana Moss
Terrell Owens
Malcolm Floyd
Lee Evans
Vincent Jackson
Dez Bryant
T.J. Houshmandzadeh
Devin Aromashodu
Pierre Garcon
Robert Meachem
Derrick Mason
Jabaar Gaffney
Golden Tate
Mike Williams
James Jones
Dexter McCluster

Why Now?

Bad calls happen. Just ask Detroit Tigers pitcher Armando Galarraga, who got a perfect game ripped away from him by a blown call by the first base umpire.

Of course, the umpire that made that call apologized to Galarraga shortly after the game and admitted that his call directly affected the game. It was a nice show of humility from a Major League Baseball umpire and one that gave you warm fuzzy feelings in your sports belly.

I guess NFL referee Bill Leavy got caught up in the moment because he came clean and admitted that he blew several calls in the Super Bowl. The Super Bowl that was played in January of 2006.

What good does this do now? Football fans have already seen and heard the blown calls dissected 200 different ways and the game makes any top ten list of the referee gaffes in football (along with my favorite, the episode where referee Phil Luckett inexplicably blew a coin toss in a Lions/Steelers game.) Every time they talk about a blown NFL call, there's the footage of Ben Roethilsberger being stopped well before the goalline despite a touchdown call. It was one of many very poor calls that went against the Seahawks in that Super Bowl.

Seattle fans cried about it right after the game and were labled as poor sports at the time. Now they've hopefully moved on with their football watching lives.

And then this gets brought up again. The Super Bowl ref comes out five years later and says "Oh, by the way, I did blow all of those calls your guys were bitching about."

Well no sh** Sherlock.

The Seattle players took the high road and thanked Leavy for finally admitting his mistakes and talked about moving on with this season blah blah blah. Meanwhile they still have no rings on their fingers (though you can't assume Seattle would have won even with the calls).

I just wonder: why now? Why come out five years after the fact and admit wrong doing? It won't change the history books. All it does is stoke the fires in that debate that had gone away.

The only differnce now is that when a Steeler fan is in a bar with a Seahawks fan, the Seattle fan can end his debate with the line, "and he even admitted he screwed it up!" Pittsburgh fans living in the Northwest better be ready, the argument is going to heat up again.

The Carnage Begins

If you're a fantasy football player, the beginning of NFL training camps throughout the country make you pay close attention to the news, not because training camps are so interesting, but because you want to see which players go down with the inevitable training camp injuries.

This year has been no different. We haven't even made it to the first pre-season game yet and already you have reports start receivers like DeSean Jackson and Percy Harvin being carted off the field, soon to be star running back Knowshon Moreno blowing a hamstring, and big named rookie Dez Bryant suffering the dreaded high ankle sprain on the second to last play of practice.

It's part of the game with a sport this violent. Guys will get hurt. More are going to get hurt too because when draft picks don't sign and players hold out, they come in behind and aren't up to speed with the rest of the players. Then they take a brutal shot and whammy, they're out for another three weeks.

But does the NFL pre-season really need to begin in late July? There was a time when players needed training camp to get back into playing shape. Today there is no real off-season in the NFL with all of the organized team activities, rookie mini-camps, and "voluntary" workout sessions. Most players come into camp ready to go. In fact, many teams have conditioning tests before camp even starts.

Sure, players get timing down and have more time to learn the play book, but is that more important than giving their bodies a rest before the onset of a brutal 16 game regular season? Ask any player and they'll tell you that they get tired from camp and they aren't really fresh for the regular season.

The reason we have such a long pre-season is one reason: money. Owners don't want to give up the earnings they can get from four meaningless pre-season games.

Okay, so that's not going to change. Why not have a one week training camp followed by the four games? Guys are preparing during the week just like they would during a regular season. They've had a week to shock their systems back into football mode and now have the four games to look forward to.

Better yet, open training camp at the normal date, but for rookies, new additions, and bubble players. That way they can get work in while the veterans can relax until mid August. You don't have to tell the Philadelphia coaches that DeSean Jackson is going to make the team. He doesn't need to run drills all day.

I'm a football fan! I want to see the best players doing their thing out there. I don't want to see an All-Pro lying dead on the field in August. I know these kind of things will happen because of the nature of football, but can't the NFL at least let players go into a season without feeling like they just finished one?

The Haze Game

NFL Veteran: "Hey, rookie. Carry my shoulder pads back to the locker room."

NFL Rookie: "I'm not here to carry your shoulder pads. Carry them yourself."

Fan of team: "Aw crap."

There's nothing logical about NFL rookie hazing. The embarrassing haircuts, ice water baths (mixed with some pretty rank stuff), food runs 30 minutes before the team charter is supposed to leave the airport. It's all unneeded and completely over the top in what is supposed to be a professional atmosphere.

But this is the NFL. There's nothing logical about anything you do. If there's a guy who outweighs you by 70 pounds running straight at you, logic would suggest you get the hell out of his way. Football logic says you go crashing into him, compressing your spine and rattling your brain.

It's a bizarre, violent world here which is why Dez Bryant needs to shut up and carry the damn shoulder pads. Bryant says he's here to play football, not carry people's equipment. I agree with him. And I think he should shut up and do what he's asked.

It's like an African savanna where the males of a certain species are all posturing and showing their power. When an elder male does a dance and violently approaches a younger one, the younger one bows down, submits to the older one and then life goes on. The younger one will have his day in the sun, just not yet.

And that's where we run into the real problem here at Dallas Cowboys' training camp. The older animal doing the posturing is the one the younger animal was drafted to replace.

Roy Williams has been nothing short of a disaster since the Cowboys overpaid in a trade to get him. What's worse, as bad as Williams has been on the field for the Cowboys, he's been just as delusional off of the field. After a season where Miles Austin became the clear go to guy for the team, Williams has been spouting off about how he's always been the guy no matter where he's played and how he considers himself the number one receiver even though he's the only one who believes this.

To summarize, you've got a veteran desperately holding onto his star power and you have a prized incoming rookie who has been called the biggest incoming talent since Randy Moss blew the NFL up a decade ago.

It's a tense situation. One that takes sacrifice for both players. If Roy accepted Dez and played a diminished roll in the Cowboys offense (third wideout, slot receiver, whatever), the Cowboys offense could hum like never before. Dez, however, has to make sure he placates ole Roy's ego and admits that he's just the rookie no matter how good he is.

It hasn't been a good start and now the situation among Dallas recievers has become tense and while Dez Bryant may clearly be the better talent, he is still just a rookie who needs to prove to teammates that he'll be there when the chips are down during the season.

My guess is that other Cowboys veterans will now step in to squash the uprising of Dez. They may like him more than Roy, they may think he gives them a better chance to win, they may secretly hope Roy gets traded or cut. It doesnt matter, Bryant is a rookie. There doesn't have to be any logic used.

NFL Beginning Early

Every sport wants to pull a Big Tobacco and get people addicted when they're kids. That's why we have youth leagues, kids nights at the stadium, and action figures.

But the NFL is going to take it one step farther by creating a 22 episode cartoon series this NFL season on Nickelodeon.

I know this is not a new idea, but it's the NFL's idea. Therefore, it will work.

The focus of the cartoon series is a 10 year old boy whose super powers include those of an NFL player. It doesn't say which NFL player. Maybe he can throw it like Peyton and run like Chris Johnson. Or maybe he's as big as Leonard Davis, but has the skill set Ray Rice. That'd be kind of weird for a 10 year old.

The boy has to protect valuable objects that are hidden beneath various NFL stadiums, like the heating coils underneath Lambeau Field and Jimmy Hoffa's body under Giants Stadium. It sounds like a twist on the Harry Potter series. A very muscular, violent twist.

Sean Payton and Eli Manning are among the NFL people lending their voices to the series. This is a bit disappointing to me since I was hoping Eli would just stand there with dumb face like he does in real life. But kudos to him for being involved.

My ideas for characters in the series include:

-Tony Romo always wearing a backwards baseball cap and with a different starlet on his arm at all times.

-Brett Favre with a long, grey beard and retiring once every episode only to come back

-DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart as some sort of Gemini twins who finish each others sentences

-Steven Jackson in a wheelchair

-A monkey cage, but instead of monkeys, it has wide receivers in it. They are fed through the cage and they do all the things monkeys do including screaming and throwing feces at one another.

-And of course, the evil character would be Dan Snyder who looks to horde all the players and secret objects for himself.

It'll be big. I'll be in pictures I tells ya!

Who Has The Apple?

Last night as I sat through the Tony Awards (my girlfriend described it as her Super Bowl, so I couldn't argue), I found out several things:

-Mighty Mite Kristin Chenoweth has as much comic timing as any female lead in Hollywood, and she's just as hot.

-The Tony Awards have been completely whored out in the name of television ratings. Why else would big names such as Denzel Washington, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Scarlett Johansson win the awards while average at best actors such as Katie Holmes get to present? Plus, viewers were treated to a mini-Greenday concert. Clearly the Tony's have gone Tinseltown. I guess they have to in order to be on television.

-Mark Sanchez apparently loves Broadway, especially the musical Memphis.

Wait, a supposed meathead football players is a fan of the theater? Well, good for Mark! Nothing will endear a New York athlete to the community around him than support for the New York theater arts.

Sure, plenty of athletes have gone into acting, but that's out there on the west coast. That stuff is a joke. This is real theater where only the strong survive. And Mark Sanchez, the California boy, likes it!

In another city, a revelation like this would vault Sanchez to the top of the local sports celebrity charts, but in New York, he may not even be at the top of his own position because he shares a stadium with one Eli Manning.

So who's the more popular New York quarterback?

Sanchez has the looks, he's well spoken, he took the league by storm as a rookie, and he plays for a crazy, smack-talking coach who doesn't shy away from the tabloid headline-making comment. And Sanchez is clearly a fan of the arts.

Eli Manning has a consistently vacant look about him and plays for a coach who makes Dick Cheney look like a fun-loving party animal. But Eli plays for the more traditional Giants team and he's a Manning, the noblest blood in NFL football. And most importantly, Eli has a ring.

I know Sanchez was just a rookie last year, so he has time to catch Eli. My thought is if Sanchez takes home a ring, he'll be able to surpass Manning as the toast of the Apple. But Sanchez will have to settle for second banana in the Big Apple until he touches some hardware other than a Tony Award.

Goodbye Stadium of Memories, Headaches

It finally happened today. Texas Stadium was brought to the ground.

The home of the Dallas Cowboys from 1970 to last year was home to so many great teams, games, and plays, that it boggles the mind. The great Roger Staubach, Troy Aikman, and Emmitt Smith played there. Tom Landry roamed the sidelines in his hat. Countless NFC championships were played there as well as monster games with the Redskins, Eagles, 49ers, Packers, and Giants. The stadium was home to countless memories.

It was also a verifiable disaster.

You don't hear about Texas Stadium among the awful stadium lists. Old Veterans Stadium in Philly usually takes the prize of nasty fields with it's giant seams in the turf where players could snap an ankle, the rock hard playing surface on cold days, and the jail located directly under the stadium.

I don't argue with that list, but don't think Texas Stadium was some sacred building because it wasn't. That place sucked. I went there many o' times.

There was the pre-season game against Oakland when I almost suffered dehydration because I drank one beer. ONE. Not an alcoholic's version of one beer which is roughly seven to ten beers. One beer. The rest was the hot, airless, atmosphere around me.

There was also the time I saw a late season game against the Giants when Big D had an early season freeze. I spent most of that game shivering uncontrollably.

There was the time when I had to walk what seemed like a mile to find a bathroom in working order and there was the time I had a great big fat person sitting next to, no, on top of me.

The point is, Texas Stadium was a place that had as much gameday atmosphere as a library. The stadium looked like a bowl of concrete surrounded by pavement. There was very little tailgating (you can blame that on the fans if you'd like), and there were no discernible visuals as you walked towards the stadium.

The most recognizable trait of Texas Stadium was the giant hole in the roof which was fabled to be there so God could watch his favorite team play. Well, I hope God had fun because the rest of us were caught in a trap that was closed off enough to prevent any cool breezes from blowing in, yet the hole made air-conditioning impossible. That meant a stagnant mass of nasty air and the smell of sweat all around you during the early season games.

When the weather turned cold late in the season, the metal seats managed to turn your butt and feet into blocks of ice. While the dome build of the stadium may have kept out the harshest of winds, the giant hole allowed plenty of frigid air into the place.

The field was built to drain water to the sidelines and it was built at such an arc (to allow water from the middle of the field to run to the sides), that if a quarterback was throwing a pattern to the sideline from the middle of the field, he could only see the top half of his receiver.

I know most stadiums aren't super comfy. I can't imagine watching a December game in Chicago or Green Bay. But those places at least have atmosphere. All Texas Stadium had was a crowd that seemed more suited for the Master's gold tournament than a football game and a lot of concrete.

So as we waved goodbye to Texas Stadium let us remember that it wasn't the stadium that brought us the memories, it was the teams playing in the stadium that brought us the memories. Those will stay with you with or without the giant eyesore off of Loop 12 in Irving, Texas.

Chronic Issue

NFL draft humans have to rethink some of their criteria.

Read about it here.