Thursday, May 7, 2009

Holy Shrinking Testicles Batman!

Sooooo, heard any big sports news today? I hear Brett Favre is staying retired......

Okay, let's get down to it. Man Ram is suspended. 50 games. In his place comes Juan Pierre and all of his 97 pounds. The Dodgers' offense is now in a hole so deep they may find an ancient city of mole men. That would actually be pretty cool....

Seriously
though, L.A. will be hurting. There is no other offensive player in that lineup that scares pitchers to death. The Dodgers could very well still be in the division race when Manny comes back due to the awful competition in the NL West, but this isn't the same team without him.

Enough about the Dodgers though. What about the fans?

Manny was one of the few players left who people enjoyed watching and didn't have some sort of performance enhancing allegations against him. He was the lovable idiot whose at bats coruscated throughout ballparks. He was Manny being Manny, the guy who would wander off the field to go to the bathroom.

Now he's Manny. Another baseball player who was caught.

And he's apparently another baseball player who thinks baseball fans are about as smart as
drywall. His reaction to the allegations? To blame a doctor and then apologize:

"Recently I saw a physician for a personal health issue. He gave me a medication, not a steroid, which he thought was OK to give me. Unfortunately, the medication was banned under our drug policy. Under the policy that mistake is now my responsibility. I have been advised not to say anything more for now. I do want to say one other thing; I've taken and passed about 15 drug tests over the past five seasons. I want to apologize to Mr. McCourt, Mrs. McCourt, Mr. Torre, my teammates, the Dodger organization, and to the Dodger fans. LA is a special place to me and I know everybody is disappointed. So am I. I'm sorry about this whole situation."

I'm sure all those mentioned appreciate the apology, but Manny was caught with a female fertility drug that produces high levels of testosterone. So either Manny was trying to circumvent the steroid rule, or he is a dumber and more confused human than we could ever imagine.

That's what stings me the most. It's not that Manny was busted, look at his body and his age; it's not that far of a reach to see him on steroids. It's his textbook reaction to being caught:

1. Never actually take responsibility for your mistake
2. Blame someone else like a doctor, trainer, dog, Ron Jeremy, Bigfoot, Beowolf, anyone.
3. Give a grand story as to how this was an accident due to crazy drug rules.
4. Apologize even though you've just stated that you have nothing to apologize for.
5. Make CERTAIN that you don't actually take responsibility for your actions.

And now the fun loving baseball player that was supposed to be the positive side to the A-Rods and Barry Bonds' of the world is now no different from those vilified stars.

And now baseball fans get one less superstar to watch. An all around banner day for the MLB.

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