Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Mocking Drafts

I'm off to the large apple tomorrow to visit my friends and one NFL draft. Here are some of the mock drafts from some of the major names. Let's see who gets it closest to correct.

It's nearly impossible to predict the NFL draft beforehand because of trades and sudden news like Percy Harvin failing a drug test, so this is not my invidious way of making fun of draft experts.

Unless it's Mel Kiper Jr. That guy is a total douche.

Here are your players:

Rick Gosselin: writer for the Dallas Morning News and a big time know-it-all of all things draft.

Peter King: Sports Illustrated. Loves to regale with NFL tales, but his breath reeks of coffee. And his teeth are stained. So it's hard to be regaled by the regaler.

Evan Silva: He of Rotoworld fame. Not sure if he's drafting as he thinks about his fantasy team, but he's in the know.

Ourlads: Some of the most in depth analysis of the NFL Draft. Still can't predict future though. Or can they? No, I'm pretty sure they can't.

NFL Network talking heads: These four are the guys that give you their mock drafts. I don't think any of them hold a candle to Mike Mayock who loves to lisp the term "in ssspace".

And, of course, our two favorite ESPN talking butt-wads:

Todd McShay: not so bad

Mel Kiper Jr.- takes himself WAY too seriously and just seems like a stuffy person who could have been president of the Young Republicans in college.

You will notice that only the ESPN "experts" don't give you the whole first round of the draft unless you pay them. Yay Disney!

So there you go. That's what the experts say. Let's see how close they are. And most of all, let's get hammered and watch large men in suits stand up on a stage for seven hours.

NFL Draft is coming!

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