Wednesday, August 26, 2009

SportsPants Sort Of Fantasy Football Preview- Wide Receivers

Wide receivers are a bigger crap shoot more than any other position in fantasy football. There is no bigger group of knuckleheads and inconsistent performers. One week Santana Moss gets you 190 yards and three touchdowns while sitting on your bench. You start him the next week and he gets one catch for five yards leaving you with a rictus of shattered dreams as you chew on your couch pillow. Screw you Santana Moss. Not that I'm bitter...

Fantasy Football is all about luck, luck with weather, luck with injuries, luck with the playoffs. So you might as well have some fun.

The following is a list of a few receivers who might be fun to follow this year no matter where they are ranked on your pre-season fantasy list:

1. Calvin Johnson- His nickname is Megatron. He's the 34th wide receiver drafted by the Detroit Lions this decade and yet has managed to make fans into believers. He was the best player on an 0-16 joke last year and while the Lions might be better, they will definitely be behind a lot this year, so he'll see a lot of balls. Did I mention he has one of the coolest nicknames in the league?

2. Steve Smith- He was suspended for three games last year because he punched out a teammate. He epitomizes the Napoleon complex, but still manages to snatch the ball away from defenders who are bigger than him. If he gets the ball in the open field, it's like watching a jack-rabbit run through a herd of elephants. He's fun, plus you never know when he might go all Sugar Ray Leonard on someone again.

3. Anquan Boldin- I call him ornery Anquan because he just looks pissed off all of the time. Boldin can be summed up with one play: he runs deep and the quarterback overthrows him by a mile. The defensive player is running right with him and as the ball goes out of play, Boldin slams into the defender, sending him tumbling across the ground. Why? Because Anquan was pissed that the defender was running with him, so he belted him. He's fun.

4. Terrell Owens- Owens drives away most owners because he's just a ego-maniacal jerk who as attempted to destroy three teams already. Yet he's fun to watch and you can make your own side bets as to when Owens will go after Bills quarterback Trent Edwards. Will he make it through the season, or will Owens blow his top in late October when Edwards misses him with a potential game-winning touchdown pass? It's the train wreck theory in action.

5. Braylon Edwards- Don't draft him if you're serious about winning your league. But if you just want to have some fun while watching football, you can create a drinking game based on how many footballs Edwards drops. You'll be drunk by halftime.

6. Deseaon Jackson- He's talented, yet stupid. Last year he dropped the football before he actually scored igniting a firestorm about how to properly play the game without being a showboat. He's good for another crazy play this year.

7. T.J. Houshmandzadeh- Former Bengal now plays in Seattle and he already stated during a live interview that he wanted to start a fight with a defender during a pre-season game. That's the kind of stuff that will make it's way around the NFL and be the basis for a future brawl.

8. Chad Ochocinco- Stuffy play by play men will have to call him by Ochocinco this year because he legally changed his name. That's wonderful.

These are just some of the receivers you could take in your fantasy draft, but they could all be great one week and then leave you to die the next, so try to grab a few who you can enjoy watching fail.

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