Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Thou Shalt Worship False Idols Apparently

Under most circumstances, logic prevails in the NFL. If a team wins the Super Bowl, fans know who all of the big name players are which means book deals, commercials, and (yikes) albums will follow. When a team sucks, people don't pay much attention. This cycle gives a bad team motivation to get good. They want the recognition for their hard work. It all makes sense.

And then you have the Dallas Cowboys.

In an 'i b
efore e' logical world, this team is the 'except after c' reservation. Forget the fact that the Cowboys haven't won a playoff game since Titanic came out. Forget that the team has a head coach who looks like he belongs on the Fishing Channel rather than an NFL sideline. Forget that the team lost its final game at Texas Stadium in brutal fashion while all the past Cowboys players looked on in disgust. And forget the fact that the Cowboys were victorious in just one of their final four games and lost an ugly finale in Philadelphia to miss the playoffs. Again.

Apparently the demand is still out there for an average NFL team and the Cowboys are taking full advantage. It's exactly how Jerry taught them. Ego over substance.

It all started simple enough: former Cowboy Tory Aikman warned Tony Romo that team leaders do not run off to Cabo with a pop singer during a playoff bye. Romo vows to be a better leader though he doesn't mention whether or not he will muzzle Jessica Simpson, who has decided to pollute both pop and country music with her nonsense.

media whore Michael Irvin decided he needed to be on television again because who could go more than a week without hearing from him? Networks were happy to oblige and a new reality show springs up where marginal players try to make it to Dallas Cowboys training camp. I'm sure that won't affect off-season work at all.

Not to be outdone, Terrell Owens decided we needed to hear more from him, so he comes out with his own reality show....about him. Awesome.

Now, just to make things a little more fun, we get to hear from a backup tight end. Martellus Bennett has decided that the world has gone too long without hearing from him. Bennett treated us all to a wanton, profanity-laced rap. In defense of Bennett, the rap is on YouTube which means it's not a time consuming professional endeavor yet. Not in defense of Bennett is that he wrote those lyrics and he already showed what a nimrod diva he is on Hard Knocks last summer.

Throw in the Pac-Man saga, the Jason Garrett will-he-stay-or-will-he-go issue, the fact that
former Cowboys Deion Sanders won't shut up on the NFL Network, and the knowledge that we haven't heard from Jerry Jones yet concerning the opening of the gigantic new stadium, and we've got a full off-season.

I don't think the Cowboys are going to have time for pesky things like the draft. Good thing they already gave up a first rounder for WR Roy Williams. It's like Barry Switzer never left!

Does anyone have a fiddle? I'd like to play it while Valley Ranch burns.

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