Texas Trio

There they are all staring at each other across the Lone Star state. Three NBA teams, all vying for control of the Midwestern division next year.

This is a good off-season to be a fervid basketball in Dallas, Houston, or San Antonio.

Before anyone gets delusions of grandeur, I'm not saying any of these teams can take out the Lakers in the west. Nah, you have to practically steal players from other teams (like say, trading away a box of Fruit Loops and receiving an All-Star forward named Pau Gasol or having a young Shaq simply abandon Orlando and sign a free-agent contract with your team) to be able to compete with the kind of transactions the Lakers make.

But for the wayward fans of the mortal NBA teams that have to work for a title, you'll like the high stakes games being played in Texas.

The fun started in San Antonio when the Spurs made a push for another title in the Tim Duncan era by trading away the aging Bruce Bowen, Kurt Thomas, and big white stiff Fabricio Oberto to Milwaukee in exchange for Richard Jefferson. Jefferson will had some offensive oomph to a team that had trouble scoring at times last year. If Manu Ginobili returns to form (much to my girlfriend's chagrin), the Spurs could be pretty salty next year.

Houston didn't start off too happy during this NBA off-season when the team found out that moo goo gai pan center Yao Ming may not return from his foot injury for a long time. Couple him with constantly injured guard Tracy McGrady and you have a disaster of a team in Houston.

Yet, the Rockets always seem to hang around and they even took the Lakers to the brink in the second round of the playoffs. The team got a bit more exciting when the traded for second round draft pick Chase Budinger out of Arizona. Budinger went on a draft night free fall, but he can run and jump with any incoming rookie. Now the team has traded away defensive forward and noted idiot, Ron Artest in exchange for Trevor Ariza. The move isn't an obvious upgrade in talent, but you won't find Trevor Ariza making the Rockets P.R. department squirm because of this unstable tribute to Michael Jackson (warning- cussing and stuff):



That brings us to the Dallas Mavericks. Mark Cuban is always looking to a make an off-season splash, but he's been relatively quiet since he traded away the team's future for Jason Kidd.

Never one to sit on his mistakes (that trade was an unfortunate trigger happy attempt to keep up with the Laker's theft of Gasol), Cuban found away to keep the Mavs in the thick of the Western conference race. First he made sure the New York Knicks didn't steal Kidd by signing the veteran guard to a three year extension. Then today, Cuban managed to finalize a brain wrenching four team deal that brings Shawn Marion to town. Marion instantly adds athleticism to a team that sorely misses it. Plus, the Mavs didn't have to give up any major players to get him.

So that's where we stand today. Three teams in Texas all trying along with the Denver Nuggets to catch the Lakers. If it doesn't work, you can't blame the teams for not trying. And that's the way it should be.

Big Brother Is Apparently Watching

We just celebrated Independence Day, but apparently Nike thinks we live in China (which makes sense I guess since that part of the world is where most Nike products are made.)

According to Gary Parrish of CBSsportsline, LeBron James got posterized on the wrong side of a wicked dunk by Xavier's Jordan Crawford at the LeBron James Skills Academy. Basically, the King got dunked on in his own castle.

Hey, this stuff happens. There are a lot of talented basketball players out there and it's only a matter of time before you get shown up on a play. It's not like Crawford did it over and over again. It was one amazing feat where Crawford reached his apogee and made a highlight play over one of the top players in the game. One that I'm sure lots of basketball fans would love to relive on youtube.

Too bad. Nike confiscated the tape.

According to Parrish, as soon as the play went down, Nike officials at the camp went about quickly demanding all the video from the cameramen. No one will ever see that play.

I hope to God I'm missing some part of this story.

If this story turns out to be true, I will NEVER buy another Nike product ever again. I hope everyone follows suit so Nike executives can "Witness" the company taking a complete bath.

And LeBron doesn't get out of this either. It's easy to just assume LeBron was busy and had no idea what was going on with the video issue, but this is LeBron's academy and he will eventually get wind of this story. He could ask Nike to go ahead and release the video....if he had any balls.

But this is a man who claims he wouldn't shake hands after his team lost to the Orlando Magic because he's a winner. He's obviously not used to being shown up and perhaps his inflated ego can't handle someone actually being better than him for even a play. He's always been the best so that's how it has to be.

If this video isn't released or isn't at least resolved, I will root for the complete failure of Nike and will probably root against LeBron for the rest of his career, fair or not. I've had it up to my neck with King James' ego and nothing would be more wonderful than to watch that man get humbled in the face of a ringless NBA career.

Then again, I've always rooted against Kobe and we see how well that turned out.....can you just release the damn video, Nike? That way I can put down my revolutionary flag and go on about my life.

Top Albums Of The 80's

So most people are spending their day talking or complaining about the over-the-top Michael Jackson memorial service.

One thing that can't be argued is that for a time in the 1980's, Michael Jackson was probably the top musical act out there. He helped define the decade. Of course, so did many other artists. It got wondering what the biggest albums of the 1980's were, so I made a list.

Anytime you make a list that involves best music albums, you're going to piss someone off since we all have different tastes. A music snob will vomit if any radio friendly pop is included on this list while a guy growing up in the South Bronx will have different musical influences than some dude from Duluth. So let me say that I realize that calling something the best album is just a shibboleth.

My parameters for this list are as follows:

1.) Album was commercially popular- I don't care what influence Sonic Youth had on 1990's music, that album is not what most people think of when you mention the 1980's.

2.) I grew up in Dallas. So just take into account that this list is comprised of albums that a white kid from Texas remembers from the decade. I wasn't on a ranch though, so calm down.

Basically these are the albums that first come to mind when someone mentions 80's music. So let the rankings begin! I'll start at ten because a list that begins with number one is stupid.

10.) Bruce Springsteen- Born in the USA: After five years of synth pop played by pale British men wearing make-up, The Boss reintroduced the penis to mainstream music. He had stubble, wore a bandanna and jeans, and sang about the regular American folk. He even caused a stir when he refused to let Ronald Regan use his music for political purposes. I thought he was a great new artist. That shows you how young I was and how little I know.

9.) Bon Jovi- Slippery When Wet: Nothing groundbreaking here, but you can't get Living on a Prayer out of your head and I don't know a boy who was in high school, middle school, or late elementary school who didn't have to hear the squeals of his female counterparts for Jon Bon Jovi.

8.) Public Enemy- It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back: Talk about opening your eyes. White kids loved getting into rap with the Beastie Boys and Run DMC. Public Enemy cut the crap and let everyone know the group intended to fight the white establishment to the better end. Yet white kids still got into it because they were angry at their parents and so was Chuck D. Well done, sir.

7.) Def Leppard- Hysteria: It was hair band crap, but nearly every single song on that album was worthy of radio play. Go play "Pour Some Sugar On Me", see how many girls start singing along even today. My God I hate that song.

6.) Guns N' Roses- Appetite for Destruction: When the radio airwaves were filled with pop metal from hair bands, Guns N' Roses threw a grenade into the room and brought the danger back into rock. To this day I can't listen to the opening chords of Welcome to the Jungle without getting amped.

5.) Prince- Purple Rain: Musically, this thing is untouchable by other commercial albums. For me it was one of the most confusing times in my young life because I saw a horny little man who wore high heels and blouses, but girls dug him and no one else sounded like him. Did I like him or not? He's so crazy he's awesome.

4.) Beastie Boys- License to Ill: White Jewish kids rapping. Mmmm. I'm pretty sure at least half of the white kids in America knew the lyrics to every song on here. This album may have been the first warning shot to parents that rap was no longer that music out of the New York City ghetto profiled by Barbara Walters on 20/20. It had arrived in your kid's room.

3.) U2- The Joshua Tree: Everyone, EVERYONE liked this album. I enjoyed it, I could play it when my dad came to visit, high school students, college students, adults, kids, dwarfs, the abnormally tall, hairy people, women with a pronounced limp.....this album vaulted U2 into the stratosphere where Bono could make us feel guilty about everything.

2.) Madonna- Like a Virgin: I was never a big Madonna fan, but I knew all of her music because I couldn't get away from it. She was the perfect symbol of the 80's, the Material Girl. She wasn't real hot, but she was a whore and guys dug that about her. She was all over the radio and even if you turned the radio off, you'd see an entire crowd of young women dressing just like her.

1.) Michael Jackson- Thriller: I don't care what you think about Michael Jackson today, Thriller was everywhere, all the time in 1982. Kids everywhere had the glove and red leather jacket, adults were asking children how to do the Moonwalk and anyone who could dance like Jackson became instantly popular. He set an MTV standard with the Thriller video and helped launch Weird Al Yankovichs career. This album bridged generation gaps and became the go to record for parties, dates, or just hanging in your room. It was the 80's super album.

So that's my top ten list, but there are several albums that didn't make the list that I had trouble getting rid of. So here are my honorable mentions:

AC/DC- Back in Black: I was personally too young to listen to this album when it came out in 1980, but it's a hard rock masterpiece. Throw in the fact that it's the first album with a new lead singer and you've got greatness. The only issue I have is that it doesn't really make you think of the 80's. Back in Black could have been released years earlier or later and it still would have rocked.

Police- Synchronicity: This was the first non-children album I ever got. I think it was one of the best albums of the 80's and it sucks that the Police broke up shortly after the release.

Van Halen- 1984: Guitar God goes to keyboard and you get "Jump". This was an album I could stomach as a child and yet the older kids in my neighborhood didn't think I was a stupid little kid.
Metallica- Master of Puppets: Welcome to Heavy Metal, young man. Depending on how old you were in the 80's, either Metallica, Iron Maiden, or Judas Priest got you interested in metal. I missed the original Maiden explosion, but I was right on target with Master of Puppets. I get pissed off whenever I listen to it and it became a favorite album to listen to before a football game.
Duran Duran- Seven and the Ragged Tiger: It was a bunch of pretty boys, but they were huuuuuge. A case could be made for Rio as the bigger album, but The Reflex was on this one and that single took over radio play for a good year.

So there you go. I'm sure I forgot someones favorite album on this list so please feel free to let me know my grave errors. Just remember, this isn't about groundbreaking albums, but albums that represented the 80's.

Watching It All Come Crashing Down

There I was just sitting on the floor, playing with my puppy, and watching the greatness that is America's Game.



That's when the breaking news came across NFL Network. Steve McNair had been shot and killed at age 36. It prompted an audible "whoa" from me which means never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect to see that headline. From the articles I've read, I'm not alone.

The fact that a great former NFL player was cut down way too early isn't the most numbing part of this story. Yes it's stunning, no one ever gets over a sports star dying in the prime of his life. But the craziest part of this tragedy is that of all the former NFL players, it was Steve McNair who died violently.

During his playing career, Steve McNair had come to symbolize everything that was right with the NFL. He was a quiet man who preferred to spend time on his ranch down near Brett Favre's part of the country. Yet on the field he was a fiery leader who was tougher than leather. He was the greatest quarterback in Titans/Oilers history (that includes Warren Moon) and was one yard away from being immortalized as an NFL champion. He didn't rewrite record books, marry supermodels, or get overexposed in 200 different commercials. He just won ball games.

Would we be as stunned if Ray Lewis or Michael Irvin were tragically and violently killed? Probably not. When Sean Taylor was shot, I recall several articles were written about how his "lifestyle" probably lead to his death. (That was disproved since it turned out to be a robbery attempt.) Plaxico Burress nearly killed himself by accident because he's an idiot. McNair had no obvious character questions despite being in a high profile position (he did have two kids out of wedlock before his NFL career began, but that situation seems pretty stable.)

That's what makes the nature of his death even more bizarre because his entire lifestyle has been called into question now. This is a family man who's been married for 12 years and his wife didn't know he may have been having an affair with a 20 year old. This could be an isolated incident, but what if it's not? Even the biggest cynics have to feel a bit verdant. What's next, Peyton Manning has a Ponzi scheme?

That may be the worst aspect of McNair's death. Not only is an NFL great dead at age 36, but the player we admired may be forever remembered a man just as flawed as anyone else.

It's not a good day for idealists.

Celebrate Independence Day With Bat Tricks

It's July 4th which means baseball, fireworks, apple pie, and where I currently reside, disgustingly hot weather.

Fireworks are illegal in most large cities and the unrelenting heat ruined my apple pie. Which leaves us baseball.

So here's a video of minor leaguer Josh Womack treating us to some sweet bat tricks. Give him the proper respect because it takes a doughty man to nonchalantly flip a bat between his legs.

How To Not Choose Wisely (In A Funny Way)

Question: How can you ensure that NFL administrators will watch you like hawks before you've even had a tryout with an NFL team?

Answer: When you're Canadian Football League receiver (and former Minnesota Golden Gopher) Arland Bruce who set new standards for post game vagary.

Bruce caught a touchdown pass, quickly stripped off his helmet and shoulder pads, and laid down on the ground in a burial position. His tribute to Michael Jackson:



He apparently tried to bleach himself on the sideline before coaches intervened.

I say well done, Arland. He didn't use a prop and the celebration didn't take any longer than the Lambeau Leap. If only the NFL would let players have some semblance of an endzone celebration. Let Ocho Cinco do the Riverdance:




Let Chris Johnson run into the stands and play the drums with a band:



And then we can all have fun as fans...by watching a Canadian football player pretending to be dead.

Concrete Charlie Will Not Be Happy, Neither Will Your Grandpa

Chuck Bednarik is an NFL legend who played for the Philadelphia Eagles throughout the 1950's- before professional sports was synonymous with riches. In order to avoid penury, Bednarik sold concrete in off-season. That job coupled with his devastating tackles (Bednarik is the guy who nearly killed Frank Gifford with a hit) earned him the nickname Concrete Charlie.

If you've heard anything from Bednarik over the past 20 years, it's probably him bitching about how spoiled today's athletes are. He proudly talks about how blue collar the sport used to be and how everyone played iron man style back in his day (Bednarik played line and linebacker). He bitches constantly about the corporate nature of today's game and how every player is just a specialist who couldn't last a week in a real working class football lifestyle that existed back in the day. To sum up, Bednarik is a grumpy old man.

I guess you can add some more ammo to Concrete Charlie's argument now after Michael Vick left his job as a construction worker to play with kids at the Boys and Girls club.

There nothing wrong with working at the Boys and Girls Club, it's a noble endeavour that helps keep kids off the streets and hopefully out of trouble. But it ain't construction. I worked in construction for one summer in college and I also volunteered at an after school program during one semester. It wasn't even close. Construction was hot, brutal, infuriating work (how the hell does this peg not fit there?! I measured it twice!) Working with kids can get tiring, but it's very rewarding and you really do have fun all day.

I'm sure the story will be spun that Vick wanted to give back to his community since he used to attend the Boys and Girls Clubs, but I'm guessing that he just didn't like construction. Now he works with kids on health and fitness. I'm pretty sure it's not easy to get a job doing that. Volunteers are always welcome, but getting paid is totally different. Vick is a celebrity though, so I guess that's his "in" to his new job.

Somewhere out there grandfathers who preach old school work ethic are snorting with disgust. I know Concrete Charlie will.