What Took You So Long?

Apparently the backlash from the ESPN LeBron love-fest titled The Decision still isn't over.

Wednesday night, ESPN ombudsman Don Ohlmeyer posted a column on the ESPN website ripping the network for running a program that he said "pandered to a superstar" and gave in to a "celebration of greed, ego and excess."

That is all true. And we already know that, Don.

The thing I look at the most in the column has nothing to do with the 4600 words in it. It's the date at the top.

Late July? The thing aired on July 8.

ESPN managed to put together an hour long television disaster in a day. Yet, the station watchdog needs two weeks to post a column condemning it?

Don't fall for this blatant public relations attempt at smoothing things over.

The executives know that they screwed up royally by running The Decision. Viewers let them know. Just read the gazillion articles out there ripping it. The only person delusional enough to think that the show was a good idea is LeBron himself.

ESPN says nothing for weeks about it, sees that their brand has taken a big hit, then rolls out the watchdog to slap them on the wrist and say, No!

Bad ESPN! Don't do that again, or no free passes to Disneyland for you!

So thank you Mr. Ohlmeyer for confirming what we already knew. Try to react with your viewers next time instead of waiting for an arsenal of hate mail to arrive before you admit the mistake.

Go Thunder.

Lay Up

LeBron James' self-absorbed joke of a special is being ripped apart by 99% of the sports fans in this country.

So naturally comedians had to ridicule it and I think Steve Carell and Paul Rudd did as good of a job as we could hope for at the ESPY's last night.

Try to forget for a moment that ESPN was the station that allowed The Decision to air along with creating softball questions that it's minions lobbed at LeBron while every dead journalist turned over in their grave. Just enjoy the comedy that came out that horrible sports special:

Back From The Ledge

I was almost there.

First the LeBron nonsense (and every bit of the was nonsense) left me feeling not so much sick, but just hollow inside. I wasn't disappointed in LeBron, but that was because I didn't expect anything less than a full ego bath from him.

Then the Yankees had to step in and give me a double shot of suck.

Cliff Lee, the Seattle stud pitcher was on his way to everywhere from Minnesota to Tampa Bay via trade. I'm a Rangers fan, so I of course wanted him to go to Texas, but being a Rangers fan, I knew that somehow that probably wouldn't work out. Pitching never does down here.

That was okay. I wouldn't mind Lee in a Twins, Rays, or any other uniform. Except one.

And then it happened. Suddenly, the Yankees became the front runner for Lee. The Yanks. The team that already bought C.C. Sabathia, A.J. Burnett, and Javier Vazquez. Oh and they have Andy Petite too. If they added Lee, the team would literally have five All-Star pitchers on the team.

This is a team with the richest lineup in baseball. The infield makes more than several entire teams and they put up like numbers. They are the favorites to win the World Series again. Easily.

When the news came down, I talked to some of my Yankee friends about it and this is the part that kills me: they weren't even that excited about it. One of my friends actually said "I'm not really excited, but I'm not upset by it."

Well, that's good. I'm glad you're not angry that your team is getting another All-Star pitcher.

Could there be a better example of a spoiled rotten fan? They don't even get excited about major aquisition because they're so used to their team just stockpiling talent.

I was prepared to proclaim the competitive spirit of sports dead. There was no longer a balanced fight between two champions trying to get the ultimate prize. This was more of a way to circumvent rules in place to keep competitive balance or just the rich getting richer.

I don't blame the Yankees for what they do, it's perfectly within the rules. The system just happens to be broken in the MLB and New York is the poster child for how out of whack that it is.

But just as my hands were flying up in the air, something amazing happened: Lee didn't actually go to the Yankees. The fact that he went to the Rangers was just icing on the cake for me. The point is that New York finally didn't win the battle for aquiring talent. I've been pulled off the ledge.

At least until the end of baseball season when the Yankees outbid everyone and get Cliff Lee anyway.

The Day The King Died

So that decision is over and LeBron is off to the Miami Heat.

Some of the Facebook and Twitter posts I see range in tenacity, but they all say basically the same thing:

-It's easy to root against LeBron now
-Real competitors don't go to a superstar team to win
-The very short and sweet "F*ck you LeBron."

I'm guessing that's the just of the messages originating anywhere outside of Miami. I know this whole extravaganza has just been beaten to death, so I'll try to be short and sweet.

#1: ESPN is now officially a joke. What a pathetic display of "journalism." They spent an hour lofting softballs at LeBron so he could have his little one hour not variety hour. That made me sicker than ESPN usually makes me. Every person involved in that should go apologize to Edward R. Morrow tonight. It was fitting the Stuart Scott lead that thing.

#2: Let's get everything straight with what we're complaining about. Most people bitch about how athletes just follow the money wherever they go. This is not that case. This move was made to win championships. Remember that the next time you whine about a guy following the money.

Here are my conclusions:

LeBron is no longer the King. The King doesn't worry about joining other superstars to ensure a championship. Jordan stuck with the same team and it took him years to win. Then he won six. Hakeem spent years missing championships. He got his two at the end of his career. But it was his team. The Bad Boys were together for years before they got their two. Guys who won early like Magic, Bird, and Duncan got lucky enough to be drafted by teams that were ready to go.

What LeBron has done is effectively take the alpha out of his male. He's no longer the guy you build a team around because he can't handle being a foundation. He's not strong enough.

It's funny because LeBron kept talking about his legacy. His decison was made because he wanted to have his championship legacy. Well, maybe he'll get a ring, maybe he'll get several. It won't matter, his legacy is already tarnished. He couldn't hack it alone. He'll never live that down no matter how many rings he gets.

This is a guy who was given everything in Cleveland. Don't like what the G.M. is doing? He's gone. Don't trust the coach? See ya Mike Brown! Cleveland fans hung on his every word (which I'd think would be a plus for a man of that ego.) He was the hometown kid; whatever he wanted within reason would have been given to him. He was the man. Not for the Cavs, but for the entire city.

And it wasn't enough that LeBron just left Cavs fans out to dry. He had to call a one hour ego-fest to let Cleveland know that he didn't think he could be successful there. Imagine getting dumped by your hot boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse via cable television. They couldn't just leave you a note. They had to embaress you too.

Now James lies with Art Modell in the catacombs of Cleveland sports. He's reviled and he won't be forgiven soon by the jilted fan base. He was their shining light and he lit them on fire.

Look, it's a free country, but when you make the money these guys do, I think you have a civic duty to a city that drafts you. It doesn't always work out and I'm in no way saying guys should be stuck with whatever team that drafted them. But James had everything he wanted in Cleveland and he still left them. And he strung along fans while he did so.

This sets a dangerous precedent. Future stars may see this move as their chance to manufacture a championship. It goes against every priciple of sports competiton.

And what happens to teams located in places like Utah and Sacramento? Obviously, Cleveland doesn't have as much to offer as a South Beach for a young hip-hop guy like LeBron. Neither do places like Indianapolis or Milwaukee. They aren't bad cities and they have great basketball fans, but they just aren't big night scenes that young, rich guys might like. So should the Kings, Bucks, Pacers, Jazz, and others just pack up shop?

Tonight was a sad night that struck most people as a complete farce and insult to the competitive spirit of professional sports. While this might be a low moment, have no fear. Kevin Durant quietly signed an extention with the Oklahoma City Thunder. No bells and whistles, no hour long specials, not even a big market. The Thunder are young and talented. You now have your anti-Heat to root for, the ying to the Heat's yang.

Go Thunder.

Another Coach A Victim To Child Who Would Be King

I could care less that Mike Brown got fired as Cleveland Cavs head coach. I think it's funny that he won coach of the year last year and then got fired this year. That just shows you that winning a coaching award in the NBA is like winning a Grammy- it's a nice little piece of hardware to keep in your house to remind people of what you used to do when you're working as an insurance agent in ten years.

Brown didn't particularly look like he knew what was going on and his long term strategies were similar to those of a man named Cletus playing chess. He's gone now and I doubt you'll see him surface as a head guy anytime soon.

What is troubling about the firing is the wide speculation that LeBron James got Brown fired. The argument itself is pointless: Brown is gone. What stems from these discussions is the frightful amount of power that LeBron James has over the daily operations of an entire franchise.

LeBron was born in 1984 which makes him 25 years old right now. Yet he will decide on who gets hired in Cleveland next. The Cavs have to acquiesce to his demand if they want to keep him in Ohio.

And that's just messed up.

LeBron is an amazing basketball player. Without him, the Cavs sink in the standings and ticket sales sag. I get that.

But he's a 25 year old guy who knows nothing about running an organization. In fact, the thing that controls LeBron seems to be his ego above everything else. From his refusal to shake hands after losing the Orlando series last year to the removal of a video footage of a college guy dunking on him, LeBron look incredibly prone to the stupid little temper tantrums young people throw when their priorities are all out whack.

And the Cavs are prepared to go through LeBron to make all of the decisions. They have to. Or LeBron and the ticket sales will leave.

So while most 25 year-olds out there are finding out what it's like to be kicked in the teeth by life, whether it's by a fruitless job search, the sudden realization of how much money student loans rip out of your paycheck, or just how fleeting your job can be if a boss or co-worker just doesn't like you for some reason, LeBron is running an organization despite zero experience doing so.

You'll have to excuse me if I don't wear a Cavs jersey around.

What The Cavs Need Is Jake Taylor

By now you've probably heard about the rumors concerning LeBron James' mom having and affair with James' teammate Delonte West.

James' lawyer says that's not true, but he's, you know, a lawyer. Others claim that it's absolutely true, but they don't exactly have...ahem...hard evidence.

True or not, this rumor is now being blamed for LeBron's sudden disappearance from the playoffs against the Celtics. The NBA MVP apparently found out about the affair during the series and just mentally checked out.

You could also probably blame Boston's nasty defense for shutting LeBron down, but for argument's sake, let's just say it was the affair. How do you rebound from that next year?

I'll tell you how.

The Cavaliers need to bring in Jake Taylor to soothe things out. Taylor, of course, is the aging catcher of the possibly fiction Cleveland Indians baseball team portrayed in the movie Major League.

Now Taylor is a baseball guy, so he can't be anything more than a consultant, but he played for the Indians so he's already familiar with Cleveland. Perhaps his signing will help lure LeBron back.

The real value of Taylor comes in the form of moderator between teammates. Remember in Major League, Ricky "Wild Thing" Vaughn was seduced by Roger Dorn's wife as an act of revenge against Dorn's cheating ways. Then she told Dorn! What a heartless bitch! Didn't she know there was a pennant to win?

Anyway, the Indians arrived at the ballpark to play the Yankees for the pennant only to find out Dorn knew the Vaughn had slept with his wife. It was a tense period, but Jake Taylor managed to sort the whole thing out and with his help, the Indians won.

Taylor has the history the Cavs need for a locker room presence, plus, he's a proven winner. In fact, when Taylor left Vaughn, I hear Vaughn fell back into drug use and even threatened his spouse with a knife. Oh to have the silky interpersonal touch of Jake Taylor back!

The Cavs have the issue of re-signing Lebron, but if they get him back, Taylor should come right afterwards. He can show LeBron the ropes while possibly even brining in Willie Mays Hayes for a pep talk. The result very well could be a trip to the Finals. Then the Cavs could win a championship in spectacular fashion and while they're all celebrating in a crowd, LeBron punches Delonte West, then helps him up and they all hug in euphoria. I haven't decided if LeBron's mom would be part of that hug.

It's a Hollywood ending for Cleveland.

Day Of Reckoning In Cleveland

Ask a sports fan what thing they hate most about Major League Baseball and most will tell you about the tilted competitive system. Teams like the Brewers, A's, and Royals are basically minor league systems for the Yankees, Red Sox, and Mets. As a result, teams can't keep the superstars they drafted from jumping ship to the highest bidder in a bigger market.

It looks like the NBA is starting to follow suit. Already the Lakers have made a habit out of snagging superstars from other teams (Shaq) and making joke trades (Pau Gasol) to help win championships. Now the New York Knicks have made it clear that they plan on making a big free-agent splash this off-season.

The trade for Tracy McGrady was for only one thing: his expiring contract. This will leave the Knicks oodles of cap space this off-season when players like LeBron James and Dwyane Wade become available.

Hey, good for Knicks fans. They might get to see some good basketball again. What I worry about is the precedent set if James decides he needs a bigger market in New York. There's been no secret the New York covets James. The Knicks have done anything short of straight tampering to woo James to the Enlarged Apple.

If James decides that he's just too big for Cleveland, the New York Knicks will suddenly be contenders. This is a team that has put together some of the worst teams in recent memory. The organization is a joke right now even though Isaiah Thomas was finally fired. Now suddenly the team will be contenders while Cleveland will fall off of the map.

I could coach the Knicks if James goes there. "You, James! Go dunk!" There you go. A crack organization isn't needed if you can just lure the best NBA players when you feel like winning.

So what happens in the future for a team in a smaller market? Does Kevin Durant run out of Oklahoma City for Chicago? Does Dwight Howard decide he'd like to follow Shaq out of Orlando and to the Lakers?

The NBA does some things to help smaller market teams keep the superstars. First and foremost, the original team is allowed to offer the star more money than another suitor (the Larry Bird rule). This has allowed the San Antonio Spurs to keep Tim Duncan and try for championships. However, the smaller markets don't offer the exposure and high society living that a major market would.

If the Knicks pull LeBron and another big name to Madison Square Garden, a dangerous pattern is set where smaller market teams will to have hope they get either a mild mannered super star like Tim Duncan who doesn't seek the spotlight, or the team has to win a championship before that star becomes a free-agent. Otherwise, the team and fans will have to watch their hero take another team to the title.

If you wonder what that's like, just call the fans in Orlando. They'll tell you what it was like to see Shaq win multiple NBA titles, but without a Magic uniform on.

Feeding The Beast

Did you ever see the movie Desperado? It's a movie about Antonio Banderas wondering around Mexico with long hair and a guitar/gun case, talking in a sexy voice to all the ladies.

During one opening scene, Steve Buscemi walks into a Mexican bar full of thugs and unfortunate humans. He launches into a detailed story about this mysterious man who walked into a similar bar a few towns away and killed every single miscreant in there. By the end of the story, every patron in the bar is hanging on Buscemi's words about this larger than life destroyer of bad men. The man is just Antonio Banderas, but the story that proceeded him had every man shaking in their boots at this mysterious man's abilities.

That is the direction this story about Jordan Crawford dunking over LeBron James is headed. The play was probably just a simple instance of LeBron getting a slow jump at Crawford. This was a camp after all, it's not like this was an NBA playoff game. It wasn't even a regular season game. I bet if I saw the footage of Crawford's dunk, my reaction would be: "huh".

But now that Nike and James have confiscated the tape, they have played right into the jaws that is the 24 hour sports news channel. With a constant need to fill time, the unknown is actually more coveted than the known by the ESPN's of the world. Thanks to the mysterious aspect now attached to it, this alleged dunk has taken on a life of it's own.



Maybe if the attention keeps getting bestowed onto him, Crawford might actually jump several spots up on the NBA draft charts. All because of a pickup dunk that no one can see.

Even Kobe Bryant is getting some face time thanks to his NBA rival:



And it's all because of the great LeBron cover up. My God Nike, you people should know this stuff. In the media world, when a fire starts, you let it burn itself out quickly. Instead you've just given the thing an entire off-season worth of speculation which happens to be it's favorite food.

It's not a good off-season to be the King.

Big Brother Is Apparently Watching

We just celebrated Independence Day, but apparently Nike thinks we live in China (which makes sense I guess since that part of the world is where most Nike products are made.)

According to Gary Parrish of CBSsportsline, LeBron James got posterized on the wrong side of a wicked dunk by Xavier's Jordan Crawford at the LeBron James Skills Academy. Basically, the King got dunked on in his own castle.

Hey, this stuff happens. There are a lot of talented basketball players out there and it's only a matter of time before you get shown up on a play. It's not like Crawford did it over and over again. It was one amazing feat where Crawford reached his apogee and made a highlight play over one of the top players in the game. One that I'm sure lots of basketball fans would love to relive on youtube.

Too bad. Nike confiscated the tape.

According to Parrish, as soon as the play went down, Nike officials at the camp went about quickly demanding all the video from the cameramen. No one will ever see that play.

I hope to God I'm missing some part of this story.

If this story turns out to be true, I will NEVER buy another Nike product ever again. I hope everyone follows suit so Nike executives can "Witness" the company taking a complete bath.

And LeBron doesn't get out of this either. It's easy to just assume LeBron was busy and had no idea what was going on with the video issue, but this is LeBron's academy and he will eventually get wind of this story. He could ask Nike to go ahead and release the video....if he had any balls.

But this is a man who claims he wouldn't shake hands after his team lost to the Orlando Magic because he's a winner. He's obviously not used to being shown up and perhaps his inflated ego can't handle someone actually being better than him for even a play. He's always been the best so that's how it has to be.

If this video isn't released or isn't at least resolved, I will root for the complete failure of Nike and will probably root against LeBron for the rest of his career, fair or not. I've had it up to my neck with King James' ego and nothing would be more wonderful than to watch that man get humbled in the face of a ringless NBA career.

Then again, I've always rooted against Kobe and we see how well that turned out.....can you just release the damn video, Nike? That way I can put down my revolutionary flag and go on about my life.

Pick Your Poison

It's true. If you were watching Game 6 of the Eastern Conference Finals, you espied LeBron James showing himself to be a little beotch as he stormed off the court after his Cavs got ousted by the Orlando Magic. He skipped the post game press conference too. And if that wasn't enough, he had this to say later after he had cooled down:

"It's hard for me to congratulate somebody after I just lost to them. I’m a winner. It’s not being a poor sport or anything like that. If somebody beats you up, you’re not going to congratulate them. That doesn’t make sense to me. I’m a competitor. That’s what I do. It doesn’t make sense for me to go over and shake somebody’s hand."

So apparently winners don't shake hands after a competition. That's what an entire generation has learned from King James. America's future looks bright.

As you can imagine, the sports media and bloggers jumped all over this. King James' tantrum has even made it into the general news area. Angry writers denounced James for showing poor sportsmanship and some even managed to connect his pouting to the miserable existence so many American live in the current economy.

I happen to agree that James is a punk, but more for what he said than what he did. "I'm a winner?" Could you sound like more of an arrogant little jackass who's never had to actually struggle?

But before I go all holier than thou on King James, I would like to remind you that just a few years ago, the same sports bloggers that are blasting James for his child like behavior after the Orlando series were ripping into Dirk Nowitzki of the Dallas Mavericks for not having that killer instinct.

Maybe that's where James learned how to act. He watched and read everyone complaining that Dirk seemed too gracious when his team lost. He read every blogger and writer explain that Dirk would never be a top player until he screamed and wanted to bury teams.

Here's a thought: let players be themselves. If they're assbags, that kind of behavior will show itself. If they're soft, we'll all see it. Stop trying to create the ultimate player who can turn into a vicious killer on the court and then suddenly becomes a gracious human being when the buzzer sounds.

I believe James should be fined for his behavior as a P.R. saving move for the NBA. After that, let James be James. If he's a big baby, people will make fun of him for being a big baby. Others will applaud him for hating to lose. There are all types of personalities out there, so let different fans find their type of player whether it's a win at all costs guy or someone who can behave like a gentleman when the game is over.

Or you can just root for the Birdman because you like mohawks and tattoos.

Mr. Whineypants

On Tuesday, the Cleveland Cavaliers lost a close game to the lowly Indiana Pacers. It was a bad loss for the playoff bound Cavs, but it was one of 82 games.

What made this game stand out was the way it ended: on a referee's whistle. Two fouls in the final seconds of the game determined the outcome of the game. Both calls were awful, the second being a make up call for the first mistake. It was a lesson in how not to ref a game and will not go down as a shining moment in the NBA.

That's not what get me steamed though. It was a regular season NBA game in February. Cleveland will still be in the playoffs and the Pacers will probably not. Unless either team loses out on a post-season seed by one half of a game, there is nothing that will come from this game in the standings.

What got my sports pants in a wad was the reaction by the Cavs after the game. The post game tirade of Cleveland coach Mike Brown about the foul being the worst thing he's ever seen was probably true.

But I can assure you that Brown would have very little to say if only the first call was made against the Pacers. And that's where I have my problem. The first bad call made against Indiana was made because a ball was being lobbed up to King James. It was just as bad of a call, but it was made by someone guarding LeBron. Therefore, the call was just accepted as an NBA star foul.

Give the Pacers credit. After LeBron tied the game up, Indiana ran the exact same play against Cleveland ran and forced the referee to whistle a make up call or face the ridicule of not calling the game correctly. I don't know how two wrongs make a right, but that's just the way things work in the NBA. If the ref swallows his whistle, he would have a froward Pacers team on his hands.

So the ref makes the call and Indiana wins. But the ref actually made the call against....gasp....LeBron! What?! LeBron James called for a foul in crunch time? A bad foul called on him? Surely not!

And that is where I have my fundamental problem with the NBA. It is such a star powered league that when someone like King James gets called at the end of the game, the story isn't only about whether it was a good foul or not, it's that the foul was called on a star player.

The top line of the A.P. post game story was "LeBron James grudgingly lived with the NBA's non-star treatment Tuesday night." Oh, poor guy. He got a foul called on him.

James was at least understated about his anger at the final call. You couldn't say the same about his coach. After his initial rant, Mike Brown just couldn't leave it alone, saying "I don't care if I get fined. It is what it is. I saw the two plays; just a bad call determined the outcome of that game," Brown said. "If they want to fine me for telling the truth, fine me. This isn't me. I never do this."

Do you know why you never do this, Coach Brown? Because you have LeBron on your team, you idiot. If Cleveland wins the game on that final foul against Indiana, a bad call would have determined the game too. But Coach Brown is used to getting those calls because he has LeBron. He apparently expects it now since when things don't go his way he becomes unhinged. It was like watching a five year old throw a tantrum.

So chalk this game up as a win for the everyman NBA player who is tired of seeing Tim Duncan's bug eyes of disbelief at every foul called on him, Dwyane Wade's fall down maneuver after a shot to draw a cheap foul, or any other star's expectation of preferential treatment.

Just play the game and deal with it. Everyone else does.