Monday, June 22, 2009

A Day Sports Just Sort Of Stopped

The site is called SportsPants, I know. But I say it's sports talk, sort of because there are so many other things to talk about than only sports. Seriously, if sports is all you can think about, you need to re-evaluate your life. I'm happy I feel this way because my sports life had to take a backseat this weekend.

I'm sure you've seen this happen before: Some friend gets a dog and it's cute as hell and licks your face and makes funny sounds etc, etc, etc. And your friend decides you need to know every last detail of the dog's cute little puppy tricks. You listen because you know he/she loves their new little friend, but inside you're wondering how delusional this person must be to actually think you need to see 147 pictures of the new puppy. It's a dog, I get it.


Folks, I am now t
hat friend.

I can do nothing but think about my three month old pup
py, Noodle, who we got this past Saturday. And it's probably good that I can do nothing else, but because the little thing doesn't allow me much time for anything.

Some highlights when you first get a puppy (fellow owners can add anything I forget):

-The amount of pee and poop in this animal is astounding. Noodle just lets fly wh
en she wakes up, after she eats, when she's playing, after one of her 26 midday naps, if she sees you going to the bathroom, and generally every half hour in between.

-Whatever toy you have for her, she doesn't want. You can go out and buy her a dozen little toys that crinkle, spin, hold treats and taste like steak. The puppy will still want to chew on the lamp cord.

-She's learning my tricks at an alarming rate. My girlfriend and I have our little methods to get Noodle to do our bidding. Hiding medicine in peanut butter, getting really mock excit
ed about a toy we want her to play with, grabbing her attention away from the chair leg she's gnawing on etc. This dog has only been with us two days and she's already adjusted on the fly. The stuff that worked on Saturday night doesn't even phase her now. I'm going to have to think about this stuff a lot more than I thought.

-The dog wants to go exactly where you don't want her to. Whether it's the street, behind the refrigerator, out by a copse behind your place, the puppy will eventually beeline for the off-limits place.

-Puppies have some crazy ass dreams. At least mine doe
s. She twitches, moves in fits, and her eyes REM at a rate I can't even fathom.

-The puppy will be the only creature in your household dreaming when you first get it. I'm averaging about five hours of sleep since I got her. We keep her in a crate in another room, but she can make that much noise. I'm told this will taper off in a few weeks. I can only pray.

-You significant other will refer to you as "daddy". I don't mind it since there's not much else that jumps in my head. It just sounds weird.

That being said, a puppy changes your life. Not like an actual kid, at least I hope not, but you will find yourself thinking of the puppy when you shouldn't and you will catch yourself telling people you hardly know all about how you were out at this rescue center looking at a bunch of random dogs for a possible future adoption when this little ball of wonder comes running right up to you and jumps into your lap and licks your face. It was at this point you knew the ball game was over. You were going to take her home.

I didn't plan it this way, it just sort of happens. Sports are great, but puppies rule.

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