And This Is Why I Won't Spend $100 On NFL Player Jerseys...

Warp speed Mr. Goodell.

As midnight hit on the February 26 to 27th interchange, the free-agency period in the NFL officially opened for business. And all hell broke loose.

NFL owners apparently are recession proof since they began throwing around dollar bills like rappers at a strip club just as soon as the clock struck 12. I just get this image of owners dialing nine numbers into their phones as the clock begins chiming just waiting, as though they wanted by caller 10 for a radio station prize.

Meanwhile, moving companies have to have this day circled on their calendars, it's like a second Christmas for them.

Some of the free-agency highlights so far:

Fred Taylor to New England: Taylor, the ceramic one, will play football outside of Florida for the first time in his life, so we'll check back with him in November when he is huddled underneath his bed. There was no report whether he had to buy a second plane ticket for his 200 pound medical file when he flew north. Between Taylor and Laurence Maroney, the Pats may get eight healthy games out of the running backs. The Pats also signed TE Chris Baker away from the Jets which means he'll suddenly turn into an All-Pro next year.

Speaking of the Jets...

Bart Scott to New York Jets: Not a shocker considering the Jets head coach his Scott's defensive coordinator in Baltimore. Now Jets fans can look forward to Scott acting like a jackass every game. Should be fun when Scott starts woofing at Bill Belichick. The gutting of the Ravens won't stop there as the Jets have also brought in CB Corey Ivy for a look while Ray Lewis is still shopping around.

Kellen Winslow to Tampa Bay: This was a trade, but that's still a major player switching teams. Winslow pretended he enjoyed being in Cleveland, but he's got to be popping wheelies on his motorcycle now that he's back in Florida. I'm just looking forward to seeing how Winslow can sustain a season ending injury on a jet-ski.

Sage Rosenfels to Minnesota: Ha ha ha ha! Yes, that will solve the QB problems for the Vikings. Well, it will be interesting to see how Rosenfels handles being pointed out as the weak link on a team with a great defense, great offensive line, and Adrian Peterson. No word if Rosenfels has a picture of Trent Dilfer and Brad Johnson in his locker to remind him that marginal QB's can win the Super Bowl.

On top of the above signings, the Colts parted ways with Marvin Harrison, Keith Brooking has left Atlanta, and a host of other free-agents such as Kurt Warner, T.J. Houshamazilli, and Nate Washington have yet to sign with a team, so all sorts of things are possible in the next few days.



Oh, did I forget something?

Of course! What free-agency period would be complete without the Washington Redskins making a ridiculously big deal?

Albert Haynesworth signs $100 million contract with Washington: What the hell? Do the Redskins not follow the same salary cap that other teams do? Not only does Haynesworth get a seven-year deal with the Redskins, he gets $41 million guaranteed money. During his first year of the contract, Haynesworth will earn an astounding $32 million.

I honestly don't see how the Redskins can afford this. The team seems to sign giant free-agents every year, yet never seems to be over the cap.

Let's just go over a few names that the Redskins have signed since Daniel Snyder bought the team: Bruce Smith, Deion Sanders, Cornelius Griffin, Andre Carter, Adam Archuleta, Jeremiah Trotter, Jesse Armstead, Dana Stubblefield, Randy Thomas, Brandon Lloyd, Antwaan Randle El, and Jason Taylor just to name some.

That's a lot of major contracts to hand out, most of which the team overpays for. Yet not only do the Redskins not find themselves over the cap, the team offers one of the biggest free-agent contracts in memory. And if that contract wasn't enough, the Redskins also managed to drop $54 million on DeAngelo Hall. DeAngelo Hall! This is a corner who the freakin Raiders didn't want to deal with anymore. Yet not only does Washington take a chance on him, they give him $22.5 million in guaranteed money.

Is Daniel Snyder just mocking us now? He has seemingly acquired every major player available every single year. The Redskins have rarely made the playoffs because of it, but the hidebound Snyder refuses to go in another direction. He's convinced bank-breaking signings are the way to go. I'd say this philosophy would catch up with him, but it hasn't yet, so why expect that to change?

Oh well, another year, another group of players moving, and another astounding deal made by the Redskins that should haunt the team for years to come. And yet it never does. What's up reality, you taking a vacation?