To Ray or not to Ray

There's no question that the Dallas Cowboys had a disaster of a season this year. It wasn't just their 9-7 record either. In fact, I'm of the opinion that this team isn't as good some people think it is.

What sealed the Cowboys' fate in the ass end of NFL history is the fact that it was unlovable. There is little doubt that there was zero accountability and discipline on this year's Dallas team and even former Cowboys are disgusted. There were very few good things to say about this team, er, collection of well paid players. As a native Dallasite and Cowboy fan, I can think of two things I liked about the team this year:

1.) DeMarcus Ware collecting more sacks than a grocery helper, and...
2.) Jason Witten playing through a broken rib to try and help his team out.

Yet even Witten didn't escape the season unblemished as he was part of the whole bizarre love triangle with Romo and T.O.

Other than that, the album of the Cowboys season brought us such hits as:

"A player determined to ruin his chance at a better life" by Pac-Man Jones
"I'm gonna bitch while I sit here with an injured groin" by Terrance Newman
"Why the hell did I sign here, I don't belong" by Zach Thomas
"Still can't cover, still gonna whine" by S Roy Williams
"You're not the only Roy Williams who can do nothing and still whine" by WR Roy Williams
"Too light in the britches to play in the trenches" by Jay Ratliff
"False start again" by Flozell Adams
"Hold on....to the opposing defender" by Marc Colombo
"First round finesse linebacker" by Bobby Carpenter
"What was the snap count?" by Andre Gurode
"Not a good NFL receiver, yet here I am" by Patrick Crayton
"Ouch" a duet by Marion Barber and Felix Jones

and everyone's favorite hit
"It's true that we love one another, if by 'love' you mean resent and argue with" by Tony Romo and T.O.

Throw in an owner who can't separate his need to be a publicity whore with the desire to build a good team and a lame duck head coach who looks like he should be fishing with a cane pole down by the creek rather than roaming an NFL sideline, and you've got yourself a first-rate NFL calamity.

After the Cowboys ended the season listening to the jeers of a delighted Eagles fans base during one final blowout loss, Jerry has suddenly gone all serious owner on us and has started talking about how the season was unacceptable and that changes will happen. He reminds me of Mr. Mom after he has the soap opera nightmare and decides to get his life back in order.

And yet there remains Jerry in charge of personnel and Wade as head coach. Huh.

Now Jerry is insinuating that he wants to bring in Ray Lewis of the Baltimore Ravens. Because THAT's what a team needs to revamp it's image.

Everyone makes fun of the Cowboys for bringing in problem guys, so you want to bring in the linebacker known more for his famous stabbing trial than for his spectacular defensive abilities. Lewis has spent the past decade leading a Ravens team that is Public Enemy Number One because they are a bunch of thugs and bullies who attempt to injure and intimidate the opponent. They are the modern day Oakland Raiders. Without the multiple championships.

That being said, Ray Lewis is probably the most charismatic defender on the field today. He is a leader of men when he steps on the gridiron. He would not take any complaints from Roy Williams or Terrence Newman. If he's in charge of the huddle, he could unleash a DeMarcus Ware fury not yet seen. He might even turn Bobby Carpenter into a tough linebacker. Or he might eat Carpenter's heart as an example to others. Either way, he'd get a rise out of everyone.

So that's the package. The Cowboys would get a great defensive leader who could raise the production of those around him. They would also get a total psychopath at the tail end of his career who could simply turn into a loud-mouthed side show who has lost the skills that back up his screeching and suck away any respect the Cowboys had left.

To Ray or not to Ray? That is just one of the questions.

I've Got Your Motivation Right Here...

As I watch the inauguration today, I realize that we will probably see the two most watched things on television within the first month of the new year. With Obama speaking to a world wide audience that may be just a tad smaller than the Super Bowl group in two weeks, the new President did not disappoint.

Sure, Obama could have just plagiarized Bill Pullman's speech from the movie Independence Day and everyone would have cheered like it was the Gettysburg address even if they didn't understand the whole "we're fighting against extermination" part of the speech.

Yet Obama used a wonderful collage of words and metaphors along with a commanding voice to whip everyone into a tear stained frenzy on a frozen Tuesday in January. That got me thinking like only a sports idiot like me could:

How awesome would Obama be at motivating your team before the big game?

You always hear about these great pre-game speeches that make players run screaming out of the locker room ready to shock the world. From the famous "win one for the Gipper" line in the history of Notre Dame, to Jimmy Johnson's "if you fight a 900 pound gorilla, you hit him with everything you've got" bit before the Cowboys beat an undefeated Redskins team, to Gene Hackman's genius move in Hoosiers when he made his team measure the basket to prove that it was the same size in the big arena as it was in the team's tiny town, fans love to hear about a genius motivational techniques that coaches use to help the boys.

Now I see Obama up there on the biggest inauguration stage ever and he delivers some zingers like:

"To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist."

" What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.This is the price and the promise of citizenship."

and

"With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations."

Imagine the advantage a sports team could have when Obama comes in and drops one of those quotes on the players.

Now Obama would have to pick the right situations. He couldn't walk into his brother-in-law's locker room today and help the Oregon State team make the NCAA tournament. He is human.

But imagine if Obama could get T.O. to get along with Tony Romo...actually, T.O. to get along with any QB. If he could get Al Davis to relinquish control of the Raiders to someone who knows what the hell they're doing.

Imagine if Obama could get the Clippers organization to work together so that they may one day reach the NBA Finals.

Okay that last one was a joke, but our faith in cynicism has already been shaken now that the Cardinals are in the Super Bowl and the Rays were in the World Series.

Is the hope really that far fetched now-a-days?