Death of the Assassin, Dallas drama in training camp, and the preview of fantasy tight ends. Plus I girl who doesn't understand the sense of smell in What's Wrong With Humans.You're a better person for clicking here.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
PantsCast July 28- Fantasy Football Preview TE
Death of the Assassin, Dallas drama in training camp, and the preview of fantasy tight ends. Plus I girl who doesn't understand the sense of smell in What's Wrong With Humans.You're a better person for clicking here.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Alabama Albatross?
Call it Crimson Tide corpulence or Bama blubber. Call it whatever you want, but it could be a problem down there in Tuscaloosa.
Not a huge problem, at least not in the sense that it's a major concern to Nick Saban. After all, he just won a national championship, so how bad can things be?
Well, for two years in a row now, an Alabama players has come into to the NFL with considerable baggage. As in girth. Too much actually.
Remember last year when we were all assaulted with the awful image of man-boobs during Bama lineman Andre Smith's workout for the NFL? Here's a reminder:
Yummy.
Smith was still selected by the Bengals as a top ten pick despite his obvious conditioning issue. He held out of training camp, then came in and promptly broke his foot. Season lost. We'll see what he does this year.
Apparently that wasn't a singular problem for a player coming out of Alabama. This year, nose tackle Terrance Cody (his nickname of Mount Cody might give you a hint to his body type) failed his conditioning test and is not allowed to participate in Baltimore Ravens training camp.
I know offensive lineman and nose tackles don't need to look like Greek statues to do their jobs, but not being allowed to practice is pretty extreme in that fatty department.
At least these guys aren't involved in sexual assault cases (insert fat joke here as to why), but in a region of the country that's already under fire for the astounding number of obese citizens, the Crimson Tide are quickly developing a reputation that will make them the butt (see?) of many jokes.
So Bama fans can hold up there pointer finger to let everyone know that they won the title, but you don't win those every year and when the victories stop, the critics will pile on. I'm not even trying anymore.
Not a huge problem, at least not in the sense that it's a major concern to Nick Saban. After all, he just won a national championship, so how bad can things be?
Well, for two years in a row now, an Alabama players has come into to the NFL with considerable baggage. As in girth. Too much actually.
Remember last year when we were all assaulted with the awful image of man-boobs during Bama lineman Andre Smith's workout for the NFL? Here's a reminder:
Yummy.
Smith was still selected by the Bengals as a top ten pick despite his obvious conditioning issue. He held out of training camp, then came in and promptly broke his foot. Season lost. We'll see what he does this year.
Apparently that wasn't a singular problem for a player coming out of Alabama. This year, nose tackle Terrance Cody (his nickname of Mount Cody might give you a hint to his body type) failed his conditioning test and is not allowed to participate in Baltimore Ravens training camp.
I know offensive lineman and nose tackles don't need to look like Greek statues to do their jobs, but not being allowed to practice is pretty extreme in that fatty department.
At least these guys aren't involved in sexual assault cases (insert fat joke here as to why), but in a region of the country that's already under fire for the astounding number of obese citizens, the Crimson Tide are quickly developing a reputation that will make them the butt (see?) of many jokes.
So Bama fans can hold up there pointer finger to let everyone know that they won the title, but you don't win those every year and when the victories stop, the critics will pile on. I'm not even trying anymore.
Monday, July 26, 2010
The Haze Game
NFL Veteran: "Hey, rookie. Carry my shoulder pads back to the locker room."
NFL Rookie: "I'm not here to carry your shoulder pads. Carry them yourself."
Fan of team: "Aw crap."
There's nothing logical about NFL rookie hazing. The embarrassing haircuts, ice water baths (mixed with some pretty rank stuff), food runs 30 minutes before the team charter is supposed to leave the airport. It's all unneeded and completely
over the top in what is supposed to be a professional atmosphere.
But this is the NFL. There's nothing logical about anything you do. If there's a guy who outweighs you by 70 pounds running straight at you, logic would suggest you get the hell out of his way. Football logic says you go crashing into him, compressing your spine and rattling your brain.
It's a bizarre, violent world here which is why Dez Bryant needs to shut up and carry the damn shoulder pads. Bryant says he's here to play football, not carry people's equipment. I agree with him. And I think he should shut up and do what he's asked.
It's like an African savanna where the males of a certain species are all posturing and showing their power. When an elder male does a dance and violently approaches a younger one, the younger one bows down, submits to the older one and then life goes on. The younger one will have his day in the sun, just not yet.
And that's where we run into the real problem here at Dallas Cowboys' training camp. The older animal doing the posturing is the one the younger animal was drafted to replace.
Roy Williams has been nothing short of a disaster since the Cowboys overpaid in a trade to get him. What's worse, as bad as Williams has been on the field for the Cowboys, he's been just as delusional off of the field. After a season where Miles Austin became the clear go to guy for the team, Williams has been spouting off about how he's always been the guy no matter where he's played and how he considers himself the number one receiver even though he's the only one who believes this.
To summarize, you've got a veteran desperately holding onto his star power and you have a prized incoming rookie who has been called the biggest incoming talent since Randy Moss blew the NFL up a decade ago.
It's a tense situation. One that takes sacrifice for both players. If Roy accepted Dez and played a diminished roll in the Cowboys offense (third wideout, slot receiver, whatever), the Cowboys offense could hum like never before. Dez, however, has to make sure he placates ole Roy's ego and admits that he's just the rookie no matter how good he is.
It hasn't been a good start and now the situation among Dallas recievers has become tense and while Dez Bryant may clearly be the better talent, he is still just a rookie who needs to prove to teammates that he'll be there when the chips are down during the season.
My guess is that other Cowboys veterans will now step in to squash the uprising of Dez. They may like him more than Roy, they may think he gives them a better chance to win, they may secretly hope Roy gets traded or cut. It doesnt matter, Bryant is a rookie. There doesn't have to be any logic used.
NFL Rookie: "I'm not here to carry your shoulder pads. Carry them yourself."
Fan of team: "Aw crap."
There's nothing logical about NFL rookie hazing. The embarrassing haircuts, ice water baths (mixed with some pretty rank stuff), food runs 30 minutes before the team charter is supposed to leave the airport. It's all unneeded and completely
over the top in what is supposed to be a professional atmosphere.But this is the NFL. There's nothing logical about anything you do. If there's a guy who outweighs you by 70 pounds running straight at you, logic would suggest you get the hell out of his way. Football logic says you go crashing into him, compressing your spine and rattling your brain.
It's a bizarre, violent world here which is why Dez Bryant needs to shut up and carry the damn shoulder pads. Bryant says he's here to play football, not carry people's equipment. I agree with him. And I think he should shut up and do what he's asked.
It's like an African savanna where the males of a certain species are all posturing and showing their power. When an elder male does a dance and violently approaches a younger one, the younger one bows down, submits to the older one and then life goes on. The younger one will have his day in the sun, just not yet.
And that's where we run into the real problem here at Dallas Cowboys' training camp. The older animal doing the posturing is the one the younger animal was drafted to replace.
Roy Williams has been nothing short of a disaster since the Cowboys overpaid in a trade to get him. What's worse, as bad as Williams has been on the field for the Cowboys, he's been just as delusional off of the field. After a season where Miles Austin became the clear go to guy for the team, Williams has been spouting off about how he's always been the guy no matter where he's played and how he considers himself the number one receiver even though he's the only one who believes this.
To summarize, you've got a veteran desperately holding onto his star power and you have a prized incoming rookie who has been called the biggest incoming talent since Randy Moss blew the NFL up a decade ago.
It's a tense situation. One that takes sacrifice for both players. If Roy accepted Dez and played a diminished roll in the Cowboys offense (third wideout, slot receiver, whatever), the Cowboys offense could hum like never before. Dez, however, has to make sure he placates ole Roy's ego and admits that he's just the rookie no matter how good he is.
It hasn't been a good start and now the situation among Dallas recievers has become tense and while Dez Bryant may clearly be the better talent, he is still just a rookie who needs to prove to teammates that he'll be there when the chips are down during the season.
My guess is that other Cowboys veterans will now step in to squash the uprising of Dez. They may like him more than Roy, they may think he gives them a better chance to win, they may secretly hope Roy gets traded or cut. It doesnt matter, Bryant is a rookie. There doesn't have to be any logic used.
Friday, July 23, 2010
What Took You So Long?
Apparently the backlash from the ESPN LeBron love-fest titled The Decision still isn't over.Wednesday night, ESPN ombudsman Don Ohlmeyer posted a column on the ESPN website ripping the network for running a program that he said "pandered to a superstar" and gave in to a "celebration of greed, ego and excess."
That is all true. And we already know that, Don.
The thing I look at the most in the column has nothing to do with the 4600 words in it. It's the date at the top.
Late July? The thing aired on July 8.
ESPN managed to put together an hour long television disaster in a day. Yet, the station watchdog needs two weeks to post a column condemning it?
Don't fall for this blatant public relations attempt at smoothing things over.
The executives know that they screwed up royally by running The Decision. Viewers let them know. Just read the gazillion articles out there ripping it. The only person delusional enough to think that the show was a good idea is LeBron himself.
ESPN says nothing for weeks about it, sees that their brand has taken a big hit, then rolls out the watchdog to slap them on the wrist and say, No!
Bad ESPN! Don't do that again, or no free passes to Disneyland for you!
So thank you Mr. Ohlmeyer for confirming what we already knew. Try to react with your viewers next time instead of waiting for an arsenal of hate mail to arrive before you admit the mistake.
Go Thunder.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
He's a Little Bit Country
Awww. Little Colt McCoy got himself married.
I would too with a girlfriend that hot, but I'm not a legendary quarterback at Texas.
Anyway, check out the little song his friend Jordan Shipley wrote for him. It starts out as just a generic sappy wedding song in country form, but about halfway through you'll hear a little zinger aimed at another young quarterback.
And so the rivalry begins....
I would too with a girlfriend that hot, but I'm not a legendary quarterback at Texas.
Anyway, check out the little song his friend Jordan Shipley wrote for him. It starts out as just a generic sappy wedding song in country form, but about halfway through you'll hear a little zinger aimed at another young quarterback.
And so the rivalry begins....
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
PantsCast July 19
It's fantasy football preview time! Today we tackle the quarterback position. Who are some good signal callers who aren't named Drew Brees or Peyton Manning? (Don't worry, we aren't going to say Tom Brady). What do you do if you miss out on one of the top QB's? Draft grenades and draft torpedoes.Plus, we sort of preview the second half of the baseball season and everyone's favorite segment: What's Wrong With Humans.
Click Here if you want to live.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Why Do I Like This Commercial?
I've said before that I don't like television commercials that try to be quirky just for the sake of being quirky. You've seen the ones I'm referring to: they don't makes any sense at all and that seems to be what the director was trying to do.
I've also said that I don't like commercials that make babies and animals talk. It just seems unnatural to me when that financial baby is sitting in an airplane seat telling me about how he takes care of his own stocks. I can dig when babies are thinking something, but when their mouths move and form actual words, it freaks me out.
So why do I like a Kia commercial with rapping hamsters? It's a bizarre premise full of absurd images and the hamsters actually rap. I crack up every single time I see it. Maybe it's because the commercial looks like 90% of the rap videos I've seen where the artists are taking themselves incredibly seriously, yet can be mimicked by a bunch of rodents:
I'm confused. I think I'll go buy a car. Or a pet hamster.
I've also said that I don't like commercials that make babies and animals talk. It just seems unnatural to me when that financial baby is sitting in an airplane seat telling me about how he takes care of his own stocks. I can dig when babies are thinking something, but when their mouths move and form actual words, it freaks me out.
So why do I like a Kia commercial with rapping hamsters? It's a bizarre premise full of absurd images and the hamsters actually rap. I crack up every single time I see it. Maybe it's because the commercial looks like 90% of the rap videos I've seen where the artists are taking themselves incredibly seriously, yet can be mimicked by a bunch of rodents:
I'm confused. I think I'll go buy a car. Or a pet hamster.
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