The Iceman Cometh Backeth

Yes, everyone in the golf industry can breathe a sigh of relief as their black knight in shining Under Armor (well, Nike) prepares for his return to the sport that he rules with an iron fist.

I'm happy Eldrick is coming back, but I can't get over one major issue I have....

It's golf.

Tiger's absence only made us painfully aware of what golf is, which is a bunch of white guys wandering around on a meticulously manicured lawn while the spectators stand around in tents drinking vodka and hobnobbing while the women show off their jewelry and fake boobs.

I know the sport is popular and I've tried to give it a shot, but to no avail. Maybe I don't properly appreciate golf since I don't play it every day, but everything I enjoy about sports; the electricity of the crowd before a big game, team play, feats of athletic prowess that confound me, does not exist in golf.

I know it's very hard to hit a golf ball, it's a skill. It's also a skill to multi-task at work, but you don't see people lining up to commentate on that.

So congratulations, golf. The king has returned. You'd better hope he doesn't leave again for a long time, or people might remember that golf is an activity for business moguls to participate in while either peculating investor money or brokering deals that will lead our country into the next big recession.

Tiger Woods y'all!